As I mentioned in my most recent post, (The Gifts of Death: Hope) I was struck by a most unusual thought while reading Genesis chapter three some weeks ago. I realized that death was a gift granted to us after the fall of Adam so that we might one day be freed from our sinful state and be reunited with God to enjoy a relationship He intended for us upon our creation.

After thinking about this for some time, I came to realize that there are actually several gifts related to death. In addition to hope, we also find intimacy in death. I know that may sound odd to you, but consider with me the story of Lazarus’ death recorded in John 11. Jesus was just a few short miles away from Bethany, the hometown of Lazarus, when He learned that his friend was very sick and most likely dying. Instead of rushing to heal him, Jesus waited another two days to leave. When he arrived at the home of Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, he had been dead for four days.

When Jesus arrived at Bethany, Mary and Martha came out of their home to meet Him on the road. In their grief they each cried out that if He had just gotten there sooner, Lazarus would still be with them. Have you ever felt that way? Have you experienced a situation in which you truly wanted to believe that God was in control, but in your heart you felt that He had missed His cue and left you hanging? That is how these two sisters felt that day. But do you know how Jesus responded to their cries? He didn’t defend His choice to stay where He was for a time. He didn’t pull out Romans 8:28 on them. He didn’t judge them for their lack of faith or for their grief. “Jesus wept”.

He wept with them. I imagine Him pulling both of them close to Him and letting them cry on His shoulders as His tears mingled with theirs. Jesus did not weep for Lazarus. He knew before Lazarus died that He would raise him from the grave. It was the purpose of His trip that day. Lazarus was allowed to die so that God would be glorified in that situation and many would believe on Jesus upon witnessing the miracle. There was purpose in the pain, but that didn’t make the pain hurt any less and Jesus understood that. Had He wanted to, He could have made Lazarus’ tomb His first stop that day and brought Him in to the house with Him, but instead He chose to weep with those who were weeping.

That truth speaks to me in a powerful way. It tells me that Jesus understands my sorrow and does not chastise me for my emotions. It tells me that Jesus draws near to those who are grieving and shares in their pain. It tells me that He brings comfort, not only in righting a difficult situation, but in providing emotional strength through the dark days of death. And it tells me that in His time and in His way, He will make all things good again. God may not grant healing to a terminally ill loved one, or work out that job situation in the way that we want it to work out, or provide in some other circumstance that feels like death to you today, but someday we will be able to see that He was with us the whole time and that He brought about glory to God through that situation.

This passage reminds me of Hebrews 4:15.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Our Savior knows our pain and grief because He has experienced it Himself. He had to bury His earthly Father. He experienced rejection and scorn. He endured physical difficulties and torture. He has walked the path of life on this earth and came through it victorious. That is why He encourages us to go to Him in prayer and pour out our hearts before Him. He doesn’t want to preach at you or minimize your hurt. He wants to grieve with us and then rejoice with us when days become bright once again.

Songwriter Laura Story speaks of God’s higher purpose in suffering through the song Blessings. She and her husband were going through a trying time regarding a health situation. Despite their fervant prayers for healing, God did not answer in the way they hoped. You can listen to Laura share her personal testimony of intimacy with God through her personal trial by clicking here, but I will share the first part of her testimony in song below. The opening lyrics of the song read,

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

My favorite line in this song is “You hear each spoken need, yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.” We often think that if we could just have this or that we would be happy and that if we don’t get those things from God that we aren’t being “blessed.” We question God’s plan and doubt His goodness and wrestle with how He can be good when everything in our lives seem so bad. The problem with that thinking is that it is based on human reasoning. We see life laterally. We remember the past, experience the present and look forward to the future, but God sees past, present and future all at the same time. Only He knows the end from the beginning and every moment in-between. So while He understands our grief, we must understand that He is in control no matter what and that everything He does is for our good and for His glory. As the song says, He loves us way too much to give us the answers to our prayers sometimes because He knows that what we want isn’t always what is best for us.

But the gift in the darkness is an intimate communion with our Savior in the midst of our suffering. It is in the darkest of times that He makes Himself most known to us. It is when we run to Him through the tears that He meets with us to comfort and cry with us. It is in the times when we can barely get out of bed that He encourages us to walk with Him and show Him where we have buried our hopes and dreams so that He can bring them forth from the grave as a testament of His power and mercy in our lives.

Have you experienced a trial in which God felt more real to you than ever before? Have the words to a certain verse “jumped” of the page at you to bring comfort during a difficult time? I would love to read your testimony of grace if you’ll share it below.

To listen to a recording of Blessings, click here.