For a brief time I loved Valentine’s Day. I thrilled to be part of the romance and clung to the hope that it offered for wedded bliss. And then, for a much longer span of time, I abhored Valentine’s Day. Just one glimpse of that little demon Cupid flying off to bestow love and happiness on some other fortunate soul would stir up feelings of anger in the pit of my stomach. My mouth would fill with sarcastic darts of poison aimed at anyone close enough to hit with them. To get the best aim, I built my walls of insecurity higher and higher. I had been hurt and my response to that was taking the offensive against even the idea of true love.
Today I find myself in the middle of the two extremes.
I neither love nor hate the holiday itself, but there are things about it that still evoke a strong emotional response. I love to see expressions of love between married couples on social media, especially when it is initiated by a man. I love a man that is secure enough to show the world that he loves his girl in a Christ-honoring way. But I also hate that for so many the day is a painful reminder of loss and unfulfilled hope. It breaks my heart to see young women stomp their way into the trap of bitterness that I know all too well.
One of my goals in writing Forgetting the Fairy Tale was to be a help to both the happily married and the hopelessly single. There is a huge temptation for both individuals to seek to find fulfillment in a person outside of Jesus Christ. Both are wrong to do so. Towards the end of the chapter, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, I wrote this reminder:
The perfect Valentine’s Day Gift!
The only way to find true peace and contentment is to be at war with the idols of our hearts. You must constantly evaluate your thoughts and motives and determine who you are serving. Are you walking in the image of Christ or of Satan? Are your desires godly or have they become an idol—displacing God from the throne of your heart? A boyfriend, husband, therapy, alcohol, food, drugs—none of these things satisfy a longing soul. Only the peace of God’s presence in your life can provide the sense of undying love and contentment you crave.
I still find I have moments when I want to hide behind aloofness or whine over a sense of loneliness. But if I choose to turn to Him, I find that Jesus really is the best listener, best friend, best encourager and best companion with which to walk through life that I could ever have. Should He see fit to provide for me a spouse, I will thank Him for it. But if He doesn’t, that’s okay too. I have found that even on Valentine’s Day it is possible to say:
This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. -Psalm 118:23-24
From the earliest moments of our journey through life we are bombarded by the concept of the fairy tale. We are dressed in tiny little shirts proclaiming us to be “Daddy’s little princess” and read nighttime stories of bravery, heroism, and love from little hard-bound, picture books. As soon as we can toddle we are given tulle-enhanced dress-up gowns and jewel-encrusted play shoes, a sparkling tiara to hold back our hair and a fairy wand with which to command the bidding of our loyal subjects.
As we grow we read books and watch movies convincing us of the fairy tale romance we all must strive for to be happy. Commercials tell us that we need X product so we can be more beautiful, more successful, more desirable. Magazines hold up airbrushed beauties in the highest esteem. Tabloids tear down anyone with a hint of imperfection, real or perceived.
At every turn, we are receiving messages that are trying to convince us that we can never be happy, satisfied, successful or fulfilled unless we chase the fairy tale life. The problem, however, lies in the very definition of “fairy tale.”
By its definition, a fairy tale is a lie. In the context of spiritual things, any belief opposite of truth comes directly from the Father of Lies. Watching or reading a fairy tale is a fine choice of entertainment, but living a fairy tale is a dangerous road leading to destruction.
Music, movies, magazines—media feeds us the myth that happiness is just out of our reach. But the truth is, we can find our “happily ever after” if we center our lives on our one true love, Jesus Christ.
Why Forgetting the Fairy Tale?
People have asked me why I decided to write Forgetting the Fairy Tale. My answer is simple. I couldn’t NOT write it. God wouldn’t let me get away from this message.
I had to do what I could to stop the flood of fairy tale casualties.
Everywhere I turned I saw people believing the lies of Satan. Every time I witnessed a young girl choose Satan’s lies over Jesus’ love, my heart would break. Every time I witnessed a marriage fall apart I mourned.
Have you found yourself believing true happiness can be found outside of an intimate relationship with Jesus? If so, I encourage you to read Forgetting the Fairy Tale and its Companion Guide. The truths of Scripture contained in these books are sure to speak to your heart and open your mind to what it means to have Jesus be your everything.
Today is the official launch of the End It Movement. A coalition of seven anti-slavery organizations have joined forces to spread the message that not only does slavery still exist in our modern world, but that there are more slaves now than at any time in human history.
Shine a Light on Slavery
The mission of the End It Movement is simple.
We want every man, woman and child to know that there are 27 million men, women and children, just like them, living in the shadows. In brothels. In factories. In quarries. Working as slaves. In 161 countries. Including our own. We are here to shine a light on slavery. No more bondage. No more sex trafficking. No more child laborers. No more, starting now.
Approximately 27 million people are enslaved worldwide, many of them in the United States. Eighty percent of them women. Many, many of them children. For an average of $90 per person, a slave can be purchased and put to work where ever their owner deems fit, making them part of a $32 billion dollar industry.
This has to stop NOW.
One of the passages that I consider to be part of my personal calling and manifesto for my life is Isaiah 61: 1-4.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.
This prophecy foretelling the coming of Christ and His mission says that He came to “proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” How can we as His ambassadors do anything less? We must make freedom a top priority in our lives. Freedom from physical captivity as well as spiritual captivity.
I understand that this is a difficult thing to grasp—men, women and children being forced to do unspeakable things for the profit of another. It’s evil and ugly and we would much prefer to turn our heads and look away. But I beg you to think for just a moment…what if it was your child? What if it was your daughter kidnapped off the streets and forced to live and work in a brothel? What if it was your brother forced to work eighteen and twenty hour days in the sun doing back-breaking labor with no pay and very little food or water? What if it was you? Would you want someone to fight for you? Pray for you? Rescue you?
Indifference is not an option. I encourage you to go to EndItMovement.com. Learn the facts. Find out how you can help. Take the pledge to become part of the movement to end modern day slavery in this generation.
We can make a difference. Together we can ” repair the devastations of many generations.” I’m in it to END IT. Will you join me? Click here to sign the pledge.
I didn’t intend to read it in just two sittings. I wasn’t expecting it to bring tears to my eyes. But it did. In fact, The White Umbrella by Mary Frances Bowley continues to rattle around in my heart and mind, echoing the voices of the young women captured within its pages.
walking through the storm alone
The White Umbrella: Walking with Survivors of Sex Trafficking was written by the founder of Wellspring Living in Atlanta, Georgia. Wellspring Living began in the hearts of a small group of women who wanted to minister to the needs of the young girls in their community. As they prayed over their burden and reached out to those in need, they discovered that each girl had experienced sexual abuse at some point in their past. Realizing that God was doing something special they determined to do everything in their God-given power to rescue, restore and renew each of the lives that crossed their paths. God has blessed their ministry and has grown it into a multi-faceted program for both women and girls who have been sexually exploited. This book shares the stories of these girls, their process of recovery, how God has worked in the lives of their caregivers, and the ways that the readers can make a difference in the lives of victims everywhere.
The powerful symbol of the white umbrella is explained best by the words of the author:
An umbrella is a common item, usually left forgotten in the back of a closet until needed. But when nature delivers a downpour or hailstorm, an umbrella makes a difference—a buffer that protects us from the harsh elements falling from the sky. An umbrella often does something else as well—it brings those who suffer together. When you share one with someone, you have to stand close, side by side…
To me, a white umbrella is the perfect symbol. The color white represents purity—the purity these girls stll possess and the motivation we have, without any agenda, to help them recover it. Our volunteers respect these young ladies as people. They look beneath the surface to glimpse the person God created them to be. Part of our call is portraying their innocence and worth to others who might not believe in them.
The umbrella represents protection against the storms and our willingness to stand with these girls shoulder to shoulder. Girls who have been trafficked live in a whirlwind of chaos and crisis. Like a tornado, you can’t understand it unless you’re in it. Our courageous volunteers and staff hold an umbrella over these young women, providing cover and letting them know they’re not alone.
I want to be an umbrella holder.
As I read the stories of these young women and children, my heart broke again for the devestation left behind in the wake of selfish people that ravaged their bodies and warped their minds. But I also rejoiced in that through the storm, God brings hope. He placed into the heart of one women a burden—a desire to help hurting children—and He used her to reach out to a young women named Sara, changing both of their lives forever.
She didn’t know that one would turn into dozens and now hundreds of faces and names entrusted to her care. She could never have imagined that God would one day provide thousands of dollars for emergency shelters, recovery homes, education, clothing, food, therapy and so much more that would be poured into these hurting lives. She never dreamed that so many would find hope and healing through the power of the Holy Spirit and transforming work of Christ. She was just a mom and a kindergarten teacher that had been told that a local hair stylist was in need of help. She thought she’d recommend a book for her to read and that would be the end.
She didn’t know, but God did.
God knew that Sara and thousands like her needed an advocate, a loving shoulder to cry on, an umbrella holder. And only God knows how many other Sara’s are still struggling to survive the streets of Atlanta, Chicago, Charlotte, San Diego, Tucson, and your home town. Are you willing to do what it takes to shelter a soul from the storms of this world with the umbrella of God’s grace and hope?
Learn more about The White Umbrella Campaign at www.thewhiteumbrellacampaign.com. Profits from the sales of The White Umbrella will go directly to Wellspring Living to further its work in confronting the issue of childhood sexual abuse and exploitation through awareness, training, and treatment for girls and women. Purchase your copy here.
The most intimidating place for a writer to be is in front of a blank computer screen or empty sheet of paper. Inevitably one of two things happens. Either your mind races with ideas and you can’t seem to narrow them down enough to write, or (the more likely scenario) your thoughts mirror the emptyness in front of you. The blank slate can be terrifying both in writing and in life. We are all at the beginning of a new year full of possiblities. Our minds race with dreams and goals, but how do we begin? Where should we focus first? What if we fail at our resolutions again? Is goal setting even necessary? Is it better not to try at all?
Um…
I understand well the fear that accompanies a new beginning. 2013 for me is the beginning of a new year in a new city, a new church, a new ministry, (hopefully) a new job, new friends, a new home, and the release of a new book. It’s exciting, but with each new thing comes a mountain of doubt. What if I fail? What if I can’t find a job? What if my book release is a flop?
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
So how do you and I overcome the blank slate so we can begin chasing our dreams?
We begin by beginning.
Pastor Mark Baterson says in his book, The Circle Maker, (read my review of the book here) that the keys to seeing prayers answered and dreams come true is to “dream big, pray hard and think long.” He calls goals “dreams with deadlines” and recommends…
Ten Steps to Setting Goals for Your Life:
Start with prayer. “If you set goals in the context of prayer, there is a much higher likelihood that your goals will glorify God, and if they don’t glorify God, then they aren’t worth setting in the first place.”
Check your motives. “If you set selfish goals, you would be better off spiritually if you didn’t accomplish them.”
Think in categories. “My goals are divided into five categories: family, influential, experiential, physical and travel. The obvious omission is a category for spiritual goals, but that is by intention. All of my goals have a spiritual dimension to them.”
Be specific. “If a goal isn’t measurable, we have no way of knowing whether we’ve accomplished it.”
Write it down. “If you haven’t written down your goals, you haven’t really set them.”
Include others. “Nothing cements a relationship like a shared goal.”
Celebrate along the way. “When God answers a prayer, throw a party. We should celebrate with the same intensity with which we pray.”
Dream big. “Big goals turn us into big people.”
Think long. “If you want to dream until the day you die, you need to set goals that take a lifetime to achieve. And it’s never too late to start.”
Pray hard. “Goal setting begins and ends with prayer.”
He sums up his list with these two powerful paragraphs:
The sad truth is that most people spend more time planning their summer vacation than they do planning the rest of their life. That’s poor stewardship of right-brain imagination. Goal setting is good stewardship. Instead of letting things happen, goals help us make things happen. Instead of living by default goals help us live by design. Instead of living out of memory, goals help us live out of imagination.
Goal setting begins and ends with prayer. God-ordained goals are conceived in the context of prayer, and prayer is what brings them to full term. You need to keep circling your goals in prayer, like the Israelites circled Jericho. As you circle your goals, it not only creates God-ordained opportunities; it also helps us recognize God-ordained opportunities.
So as we finish up the first month of the year, I challenge you to dedicate your blank slate to Christ and His purposes for your life and then plan accordingly. Let’s determine to live for Christ out of our imaginations and accomplish great things for His glory in 2013!
Have you made a list of life goals? How has goal setting been beneficial to you? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below.
Photo credit: Carlos Fenollosa / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
