by Donya Dunlap | Nov 29, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
Advent.
We’ve all been there.
Not just waiting for Christmas. Waiting for the husband, the doctor, the child. Waiting for the job offer, the acceptance letter, the validation that who you are is enough.
We look to the future with expectant hope, willing God’s plan to align with our own. But advent is more than unwrapping our wishes at the end of a season.
Advent is an arrival, but it is also a becoming. A transformation of who I am into who God means for me to be—a watching for the miracle on the horizon. Advent is preparing hearts to receive the glory of heaven.
We think of Mary, eagerly waiting to be joined to her future husband. Planning her wedding day unaware of the dramatic interruption her life is to receive.
Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you…Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end. – Luke 1:28-33
Her response?
Amen. “Let it be.”
Amen
How would her virgin body carry a child? She didn’t know. Would Joseph still take her as his bride? She didn’t know. Would her family believe her story? She didn’t know.
She simply trusted, watching to see what God would do next.
Amen. “Let it be to me according to your word.”
Mary stepped into her role as mother of the Messiah with grace. She embodied advent. I doubt she felt prepared or especially equipped to raise the Son of God, but she submitted her plans to her Holy Father’s wishes and became blessed among all women.
You may feel equally ill-equipped to face the challenges ahead of you. The task may seem too big, too important to be given to someone with your personality or your limited resources. You echo Mary’s words, “how will this be?” You know intellectually that “nothing will be impossible with God” yet you know for a fact there is a whole mess of things impossible for you.
The beauty of advent is our expectation of what God will do, not His expectations placed on our already over-burdened lives. He simply invites us to journey with him in watchful joy.
The advent journey is one of miracles and majestic beings breaking into darkness with light and song. It is about beauty and love and a fierce protection of purity and humility. Advent is the amen—the exchange of your plans for God’s surprises. The relinquishing of your hesitations for God’s adventure of a lifetime. All He asks for is your hand.
“Let it be.”
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 22, 2016 | Guest Posts, Random
Today’s post comes to us from the lovely and generous, Stephanie L. Jones. As I was contemplating the holidays and what they mean to me this year, I decided to ask Stephanie to share from her wealth of experience in making life a little better for those she meets and invites into her home.
Stephanie is a speaker, life coach and soon to be author of The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life. She helps people “Dream, Discover, Do.” As a fearless changemaker, she’s been a private investigator, police officer, and senior manager in a Fortune 100 company. Stephanie has traveled to 46 states, attended Oprah’s Oscar show, and auditioned for her own TLC show in NYC. To learn more about Stephanie go to www.GivingGal.com.
Did you know another word for a holiday is rest? Shocking! When was the last time your holiday was peaceful? Imagine hosting a gathering in your home feeling relaxed and content. Whether you are opening your home to friends and family on Thanksgiving, Christmas or a guest in someone’s home, your hospitality doesn’t need to come at the cost of your health and sanity.
Hospitality defined
According to Google, the definition of hospitality is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. Notice there is no mention of immaculate home free of dust bunnies, Pinterest-perfect food presentation, use of best china and fine silverware, or breaking the bank to redecorate the home with new paint and furniture. The latter may sound extreme, but I’ve heard of people doing this…for what? To impress people that “should” love you (and your home) just the way you are.
Pondering these words from Present Over Perfect author, Shauna Niequist,
For years, I have bridged that gap between differing opinions, tempered my own, made sure that everyone in the room was happy and fed and taken care of. It began as a clean love for hospitality, but over the years, I think, it devolved into caretaking and people pleasing at the expense of my own self, at the expense of telling the truth about what I think and what I need and what matters most to me.
Her words stung. I felt a punch in the gut when I read “caretaking and people pleasing.” Guilty! When did this become our responsibility during family celebrations?
Here are five things you can do to prepare your soul for upcoming festivities
- Find a quiet place, hide in the closet if you must, and grab a pen and paper.
- Grab your Bible and read Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
- Focus on this scripture. Before food and home preparations, it’s important to prepare your heart to serve your loved ones. Memorize Matthew 11:28 and repeat these words as often as necessary over the next two months.
- Jot down everything that worries and stresses you out about the holidays. Get them out of your head and on paper. Moving forward, don’t let negativity steal your joy and control your thoughts.
- Close your eyes and envision your home for the holidays. Use all your senses. What smells are waffling in the air? Do you hear laughter and feel the warm embrace of loved ones? I bet you see smiles and taste pumpkin pie…or if you are like me you taste the whip crème. Savor this moment. Don’t be in a rush to move on. Let these feelings soak into your bones. My guess is your writings and what you envisioned doesn’t match
Hospitality starts in the heart
Are you getting excited for the holidays? Is your attitude changing? Do you realize the difference between what’s important and what’s not?
As descriptive as possible, compose your definition of hospitality. Think back to number five and incorporate the thoughts that danced in your head. At the bottom of your paper, transcribe Matthew 28:11. When finished, post your note on the refrigerator as a constant reminder the world’s interpretation of celebrating the holidays doesn’t match the definition of hospitality. Take refuge and rest in the one who created you.
The holiday you dreamed of is within your reach. Remember hospitality is all about how you make people feel in your home. If you are uptight and stressed, your guests will feel it. Be generous with hugs, laughter, and listening. This year, I’m giving you permission to change your ways and enjoy the holidays.
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 11, 2016 | The Single Life, Write Hard Things
When I wrote Forgetting the Fairy Tale, I talked about finding our true love in Christ. I wrote how no human can ever fully satisfy us, and frankly, neither will Jesus while we still live on this earth. We were built with a longing that can only be met in Christ upon complete union with Him in the next life. Until then, we strive to glorify Him in every area of our lives. We embrace the struggle, not numbing the longing or filling it with people or things.
Many have told me they were surprised the book is not anti-men or anti-marriage. It seems a dichotomy to be both pro-marriage and pro-singleness. But that is where I stand because that is where the Bible stands.
God’s purpose for marriage
I believe God created marriage as a beautiful picture of His relationship with His bride, the church. He wanted us to understand the depths of His love for us, so He created marriage and sex and He called it good. Sadly, as with all things, sin has distorted this sacred bond. Sin has caused women to distrust men, men to objectify women, and families to be destroyed by the mutual brokenness.
The easy road against marriage
The easy road is to be cynical about love and marriage. To protect our wounded hearts from further damage. Culture says, “It’s just sex. It doesn’t mean anything.” Hurting women find it easier to believe “all men are pigs” rather than face both bad behavior and good men.
But in protecting ourselves, we keep God from doing a miraculous work in our lives. We build walls around our hearts, hindering the Holy Spirit from administering healing. True intimacy is a risk. We are afraid of being fully known so we cover ourselves with our fig leaves and pretend everything is okay. Friends, I am here to tell you everything is not okay.
Why marriage terrifies me
I confess to you…marriage terrifies me. Approximately 50% of all marriages fail. Of the pastors, leaders, and friends I know, I can count on one hand the marriages I would want to model my own after. These are good people mostly. Many couples I love and respect. But I would never want their relationship. This grieves me. And yet, I have hope. And not in a jingle bell, fairy tale, romantic sort of way.
The redemption of marriage
When the Godhead conspired to create the world and human relationships it was good. Until it wasn’t.
When Satan planted those first seeds of distrust in Eve’s heart, he was using her as a pawn to inflict pain on his Creator. He’s been doing it ever since.
But God initiated a plan to redeem what was broken. This is the beauty of marriage.
Every time a couple says “I do” a union is created. A holy trinity. Husband, wife, and Spirit. And every time disunity is planted and this same couple says “I still do” they are exemplifying God’s love for us.
Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is imperfect. There are tears, harsh words, and broken promises. But there is also magic, miracles, love, hope, restoration—all of this throws up a big, bright rainbow to the world that says, See! God is here! In this marriage flooded with the sin of two imperfect people there is redemption. Redemption and love you too can have in Jesus’ name.
Marriage is still a maybe
So even though the thought of marriage terrifies me for all the potential brokenness, it also calls to me for all the beauty that is two people living out God’s covenant amidst all the destruction Satan can muster.
Opening my heart to marriage doesn’t eliminate the fear. It’s risky. It’s messy. But it is also right, and good, and Christ honoring to take down those walls and let Jesus do what He feels is best for me.
Does that mean I’m getting married? Maybe. Maybe not. The end result isn’t as important as the honesty and freedom I am receiving from the Lord in this place.
Nothing has changed in my circumstances. I am still a champion for singleness and single women everywhere. I’m just choosing to not allow fear to determine my destiny. I encourage you to do the same.
In case you missed it, be sure to read Whitney Pendell’s post on Preparing Yourself To Be a Godly Wife.
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 8, 2016 | How Great is Our God, Random
Today, millions of Americans will exercise their civic duty and vote for the next President of the United States. As has been said repeatedly throughout the last months, this election may be the most important election of this generation. The result of this day’s election will impact not only our country, but the world.
Election Day brings with it many emotions. Legitimate concerns press upon us from all sides. We feel the pressure of history, patriotism, and moral obligations. These are not light considerations.
The state of the Union is in a precarious position, but the state of my heart is secure in Christ. I can honestly say that above the concern of what may come, the following five conditions describe my spirit as I prepare to cast my vote.
Grateful
Today I am grateful. Not only am I a citizen of the great country of America, but I am eligible to vote. This is a freedom earned by many brave, vocal, passionate women that have come before me. By casting my vote today I acknowledge their dedication to freedom and equality for all—and I thank them.
Prayerful
I was convicted this weekend by the fact that I have only prayed according to my personal concerns, and not for all the candidates as potential leaders of our country. Forgive me Lord!
I now ask the Lord for the salvation, wisdom, and discernment for every presidential hopeful regardless of the election results. And tomorrow, regardless of the results, I will continue to pray for the President Elect knowing that by respecting the office, I show deference and respect to my God who moved among the corridors of time to bring about this moment in our nation’s history.
Surrendered
It is not lost on me that many of my friends and family, neighbors and churchgoers will be disappointed tomorrow regardless of the results of today’s voting process. Every person has a unique view on the issues due to our unique worldviews. This should not be cause for divisiveness, but for mutual respect and love, knowing that our God is for us all, and He is in control.
I think of Jesus giving to Caesar that which was due him and Paul encouraging Christians to pray for government leaders during times when Christians were being beheaded, burned alive, and tortured for sport under Roman rule. Regardless of who becomes our next President, my responsibility is to honor those in positions of authority as I honor Christ. I surrender my heart and bow my knee to the King of kings. I trust Him to raise up the leader that He desires in order to bring about His kingdom on this earth according to the Scriptures.
Satisfied
It seems an odd descriptor, but during these tumultuous days, my heart is satisfied. Proverbs 19:23 states,
The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.
I can think of dozens of ways that my freedoms and even my person can be harmed by the results of this election. The religious and personal liberties I have enjoyed are being threatened. So how can I be satisfied? Because my hope is in the Lord.
You can strip me of my rights. You can imprison me or beat me and it will be no surprise to the God who holds me in His hand. My days on this earth are numbered. When my time comes, I will be in the presence of God for eternity. No one can take that away from me. And it turns out, He’s all I really need.
Hopeful
I hope that the results of this election are positive. It is my prayer that the candidates meet Jesus as Paul did and radically change in submission to God. I hope that America continues to be a beacon of liberty to the world. I hope that the church rises up and makes a difference in their communities turning hearts back to God. My hopes are high. I
pray toward these ends. But above all, my hope is in Christ.
The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. – Proverbs 21:1
Yes, this election is important. This Election Day will likely be one of the most significant days in this countries history. The well-being of our nation will be impacted in significant ways. But the state of my heart is secure in the One who raises up one king and takes down another. I have nothing to fear.
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 4, 2016 | Guest Posts, The Single Life
This is a guest post by Whitney Pendell. Whitney blogs at Come Home For Comfort where she shares about her faith, marriage, organization and frugal living – all the things that bring comfort to her home. She shares her home with her husband of almost six years and their two very spoiled cats.
When I was in college, there were certain girls who people joked were only in school to obtain an “MRS” degree. It was usually girls who chose a major like Family and Consumer Science or something in the school of Religion. I am not sure how successful their supposed strategy turned out to be, but I think we can all agree that most girls have marriage at the top of their life goals!
Marriage is an honorable goal – God created it! There are those who, in God’s perfect plan, are called to a life of singleness – but most of us will find that MRS degree somewhere along the path of God’s will for our lives. What should you do if you desire to be married but haven’t seen an answer to your prayer? I believe you can (and should!) begin preparing yourself to be a godly wife long before you meet the man of your dreams.
#1 Create Good Housekeeping Habits
Whether you live alone or with a roommate, you can establish good housekeeping habits.
Find a weekly cleaning routine that works for your schedule and keep up with the daily chores as well – putting laundry away, washing dishes after a meal and leaving a room neater than you found it.
Learn to cook – and if you already know how to cook, master the art of having all the components of a meal ready at the same time.
Make a weekly menu plan and grocery list – you might only need to fix two meals for yourself during a normal week, but getting in the habit of shopping and menu planning will be so beneficial!
Host people in your home – whether you plan a monthly supper club with your girlfriends or invite a married couple for Sunday dinner, entertaining is an invaluable skill and great for impressing future in-laws! 🙂
The woman of Proverbs 31 is described as someone who looks well to the ways of her household and is not idle. Good housekeeping habits will benefit your personal life no matter how long you remain single, and will certainly make life a lot easier when you are married.
#2 Study Godly Wives
Getting married doesn’t magically make you a good wife. It actually has a funny way of revealing all your annoying habits and idiosyncrasies! In order to be a godly wife, you have to know what that looks like. Study the women around you who model the kind of wife you desire to be. Don’t spend all your time with single people – ask a married lady you admire to mentor you. Read blogs and books on marriage. Study the book of Proverbs and look for each time the word woman or wife is mentioned. There is such great wisdom (and warning) found through the women of Proverbs!
#3 Enjoy Being Single
When I graduated from college, I was as single as the day is long. I had no prospects – not even a crush! So I decided to enjoy the perks of being single, knowing that those years would probably be the ones where I had the most money, energy, and free time. I worked a lot, volunteered at church in everything from choir to missions trips, attended concerts and sporting events, shopped for hours with my girlfriends, visited family, ate out for lunch and supper whenever I wanted, and had so much fun.
If you’ve been single for ten years or more, you might be past the stage of life where all of that is appealing. My advice to you now? Look for things you can enjoy about being single. This exercise is beneficial in every stage of life. Learn how to enjoy your current stage of life and you’ll be better off no matter what!
#4 Be Confident That God Is Enough
I’m not saying, “Be confident that God is enough because you might never get married and you’ll be all alone.” Nope. Not at all. The biggest struggle I’ve faced in married life is learning that my husband is not supposed to meet all of my needs. As a Christian, my hope and expectation is in God. If you can learn that now you will save yourself so much frustration and heartache! It can be easy to default to your husband as the strength, provider, listening ear, compassionate heart and source of all love and security. He might be willing to be those things for you, but he is human and he will fail you! God doesn’t fail. He will be all of those things for you, no matter if you’re a Miss or a Mrs.!
