Mirror, mirror
Have you ever looked in a mirror and been shocked by what was looking back at you? That has been a regular experience for me these last few months. As I look into the mirror of God’s Word I so often expect to see a princess, and looking back at me is a wicked witch instead.
The mirror of circumstances
Circumstances have a way of revealing our true hearts and I have literally shocked myself at times by thoughts and attitudes that I have had or words that I have said. Anger, selfishness, bitterness, pride, pride and more pride…and all when I thought things were going well!
The Lord has recently shown me how incapable I am to perform His will within my own strength and how short I fall from the mark of being “okay.” It is so easy for me to work, work, work and not rest in Him and take the time necessary to cultivate my relationship with Him. The result?
The wicked witch syndrome.
I get frustrated, irritated, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, and all of it is in one way or another selfishness and pride. I get wrapped up in all my responsibilities and personal goals and desires that I ignore the people around me or get upset with them when they take up my time or don’t act exactly as I want them to act. Being sensitive to what people say to me, imagining things that people think of me, worrying about how people perceive me…it’s always all about me, me, me!
How ashamed I am to think of people that I have hurt by my impulsive, selfish, reactionary words and actions. I am saddened by the caustic things I’ve said and how many times I have used Scripture to justify my words when really patience and silence would have been more Christlike.
I wonder how many people I could have influenced for good, how many friendships could I have cultivated, how many souls could I have won, by simply walking with the Lord in an attitude of prayer regardless of my “to do” list, my insecurities, or my hurt feelings?
The mirror of God’s Word
As I look into the Scriptures, I don’t find Christ walking around worried about all He had to do or getting upset at how the Pharisees treated him. He always had time for others, always spoke in kindness, always thought of the Father’s will and always with a heart of sincerity and love. What a rebuke!
I am thankful that despite all of my faults, Christ still chooses to minister to me with a heart of patience, kindness and love. Even now, when I feel so unworthy to be called His child, He still reaches out to me and sets me on my feet again, pushing me down the path that He has chosen for my life and allowing me to serve Him. I am so unworthy of His love and grace, but so grateful for it! I rejoice in His longsuffering and join David in saying
“As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.” (Psalm 17:15)
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