I feel so overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by the fullness of my heart in seeing how God is at work in me and in the world around me. Some of you know that the Lord has been doing some really amazing things in my life recently. Some days He just takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. God has always been at work in my life, but in the last nine months, He has taken things to a whole new level.

A Brief Recap

In June of 2011, I felt the Lord stirring my heart and giving me a deeper burden for single women. Since college I have had a growing passion to be a voice to and for single women, but I thought that passion would be fulfilled with the writing of my book. In June, the Lord showed me that the book was just the beginning. I started praying, dreaming and planning, guided by this new direction and a vague picture began to form in my head. Then it seemed as if God checked out for a while. I don’t mean that irreverently, and I know that in truth He never leaves me, but I went through a period where I felt that He wasn’t speaking to me. I began to get discouraged and frustrated. I wondered if maybe the Voice that I heard in June was really just voices…and that they were telling me that I should be on the lookout for the men in the white coats. But again the floodgates of Heaven have opened and I am swimming in the depths of God’s grace and goodness.

An Added Burden

In January of this year, I was introduced to the truths of modern day slavery. I was shocked to learn that there are an estimated 27 million slaves in the world today, more than at any other time in history. It is believed that human trafficking alone generates over $32 billion in revenue every year. The majority of trafficking victims are between the ages of 18-24, but it gets worse. “The victims most vulnerable are women and children. Children in particular are sold, bonded, trafficked, subjected to commercial sexual exploitation, recruited into armed conflicts and forced to work as domestic workers.” (72daysforfreedom.com, antislavery.org)

This information is troubling, but the statistic that completely broke my heart is that the average age of a person forced into prostitution is 12. TWELVE YEARS OLD. These children, girls and boys, should still be playing with dolls and video games. Instead they are being raped and beaten and threatened in untold ways EVERY SINGLE DAY. And this isn’t just a problem for other countries. This is happening here, in the United States of America, in our neighborhoods, at our sporting events, at truck stops, hotels, massage parlors, restaurants…all around us.

When I started learning about this I was shocked, as I mentioned, but then I got angry. How is it that I didn’t know about this? I lived in Atlanta for 5 years. It’s an awesome city that I love and I miss, but learning that Atlanta is a major hub of human trafficking and that it is ranked in the top 14 cities in the US for child prostitution it made me sick. (Governor’s Office for Children and Families) For five years I lived in peace, safety and happiness while all around me unspeakable things were being done to helpless children who are meant to be protected and loved. When I think of someone hurting my nieces who are the same ages as many of these children, I want to come unglued.

27 million is just a number until you make it personal…and this is personal to me.

I began to pray that God would allow me to be a voice for the children. I had already started plans for a novel to raise awareness of the effects of rape, but I felt the Lord directing me to change my focus. So I began to research and write about sex trafficking…and the more I learned the more God worked. Tonight as I write these thoughts to you, I literally feel as if at any moment the very molecules of my body could let loose. My muscles physically ache with emotion. I long to do something now to make a difference. I post awareness messages on Facebook and Twitter, I research, I beg God to use me to be a champion for freedom, and yet I still have homework, I still have a job, I still have deadlines for my first book, I still have dishes and laundry to do…

The rush of all this emotion and all of these thoughts coursed through my mind and body today as I stuffed suckers and papers into little plastic bags for work, I received a notice that a friend had posted a message in response to a tweet of mine that was copied to Facebook. The message read,

We’ve been studying the book of Nehemiah in church and I love the order of events on his timeline. After he heard of the state of things in Jerusalem he was burdened to the point of sobbing for days. It was this initial grief that made him realize that this burden was from the Lord and a signal to get involved. It reminded me that while others may not get as upset about situations to the same level that I do, that’s okay, because the heaviness of my heart is God’s message to ME to get involved. Thank you for sharing this journey that the Lord’s put you on. It IS encouraging to see that He still uses Christians to right the wrongs of this world.

Her note was an encouragement to me, but the depth of her words didn’t really hit home with me until later this evening. I was reading the first chapters of Nehemiah and noticed that the months Chisleu and Nisan were mentioned. Chisleu is the third month for the Hebrew and the month during which Nehemiah was told of the state of Jerusalem by his friend. Nisan is the seventh month, the month that Artaxerxes noticed that Nehemiah was sad. For four months Nehemiah wept and fasted and prayed for God to do something, and for four months Nehemiah got up, slapped a smile on his face and went to work. I wonder if during those four months he wondered why God tarried His response? Nehemiah was just a regular guy, no different from you or me (except by gender of course). He was a person with responsibilities and deadlines that could not be ignored despite his broken heart. But Nehemiah was not alone in his grief, just as I am not alone in mine. God was at work during those four months of silence. God was preparing the heart of the king to be open to Nehemiah’s request to leave his position and go to Jerusalem. God was preparing supplies and people and working on a timeline that only He could see. And when the time was right, He let Nehemiah in on the secret.

Since January, I have laid my head on my pillow each night and my mind and heart goes out to all the women and children that are just beginning their daily walk through hell on earth. I know I’m not supposed to think such unChristian thoughts such as, “God, why don’t you do something?” but I have…and He gently responds to me, “My child, I am.”

God is always fighting for the helpless, whether or not I see it.

These last two weeks He has given me glimpses of how He is at work. In a total random “chance” event (or by divine appointment as I choose to believe) God prompted a woman named Catherine Smith to comment on a comment that I had left on a blog by Jon Acuff. (Did you follow all of that?) Catherine is the co-founder of the You Are Project, an effort to help women realize their value and significance in the eyes of Christ. Coincidence? I think not. He also arranged it that I would be visiting a friend’s church when they announced a special 72 day effort to raise awareness of human slavery, called 72 Days For Freedom and the corresponding website that is full of information, including prayer points for each day and ways that each of us can get involved to stem the tide of this growing evil in our world. Coincidence? Again, I think not. Every day God whispers encouragement to me through His Word, through messages from friends, through songs on the radio…

“I AM at work. I AM mighty to save. I AM the Father to the Fatherless. I WILL BRING FREEDOM TO THOSE IN BONDAGE!”

God is at work behind the scenes, and if it be His will, one day He will bring me in on the secret and allow me to be a part of His work. But until then, it is my job to be faithful in the daily tasks that He as set before me. It’s okay if I cry my eyes out and fast and plead with God. In fact, I think that’s part of the process. God has to do a work in me too. But His silence doesn’t mean that He doesn’t hear, or that He isn’t busy accomplishing His will for His glory.

One of my absolute favorite passages of Scripture is when Jesus reveals Himself to Mary on the morning of His resurrection. She is grieving, she is heart broken, and she is in a panic because she came to dress the body of her Lord following the Sabbath and He wasn’t in the tomb where He was laid. She is completely beside herself, overcome with weeping to the point that she assumes the blurred form she sees through her tears is the gardener…until He says her name. “Mary.” There was only One that said her name like that. Only one that looked beyond her faults and failures and treated her with unmeasurable love and kindness. It was Jesus.

There was nothing but silence for three days. When all of your dreams and hopes and the One that you love with all your heart are wrapped up together in grave clothes and left to rot in a cave…you can’t get more broken than that. But God was not dead. He was at work behind the scenes. He was fulfilling the prophecies going back centuries before. Only the sobs from Mary’s chest broke the quiet of the morning that day, but the silence was about to bring forth the most glorious shout of joy that I believe the earth has ever heard. “Rabboni!!!” He had conquered death and hell and there He stood before her very eyes. Her Savior. Her Redeemer. Her Jesus. He had freed her from the grasp of seven demons and set her on a path of worship and purpose unlike anything she could have ever imagined. She was granted the privilege of being the first person He revealed Himself to after His resurrection. She is written into history as one that brought much glory to God—a woman that I highly respect and look forward to meeting some day. She was one of the first to testify of His resurrection and took part in the very first meetings of the physical church on this earth.

God used her darkest days to shine forth His most glorious light.

So tonight, as I lay my head on my pillow and think of the hundreds of thousands bound in slavery, I will also think of my wonderful, all-powerful Savior—the One who holds each of His children in the palm of His hand—and I will sleep in peace, trusting Him to make everything beautiful in His time.

Please take a moment to follow the links above for the You Are Project and 72 Days for Freedom. Together we can shine the light of God’s love and pierce the darkness!