by donyadunlap | Jul 21, 2012 | Making a Difference, The Spiritual Life
I’m angry. In fact, I’ve been angry so much lately that I’m beginning to worry if I’m becoming one of those old, single, angry, cat ladies minus the cats. I have an almost constant knot in my stomach, I’m having a hard time sleeping and I’ve seriously considered quitting my job and living out of my car so that I can do something profitable with all of these emotions I’m experiencing. In a word, I’m a wreck.
Telly the Wrecked Tortoise
Why am I so angry, or more appropriately, “wrecked?” Glad you asked. I’m angry that children are being abused instead of being protected. I’m angry that women are being beaten by men that claim to love them. I’m angry that a person can take something meant for good and use it to terrorize a theatre full of people trying to enjoy time with their friends and family. I’m angry at people that prey on innocent girls and force them to do unspeakable things. I’m angry at the people that spend their money to view such things and even engage in such behavior. I’m angry at the rich that use their money to withhold from the poor and I’m angry at the poor that use their situations as an excuse to manipulate and injure others.
And on top of all of that I’m angry at myself for not doing more to stop it.
For years I turned away from things that upset me, made me sad, or just bad situations that I felt I couldn’t do anything to help. I shut out news feeds that told of crime and hate. I closed my eyes during parts of the movies that I didn’t want to see. I nervously glanced in the other direction when sitting at a stop light near a person in need. I pitied, I judged, I felt a twinge of guilt, but never did I pray for them, open my heart to them, or shed a tear of compassion.
Until one day…
One day I was reading in the Gospels and was convicted by my lack of compassion. Jesus wept for the lost and gave up everything to be near to the hurting. He healed the broken and outcast. He spent time with the social rejects and ate dinner with the blue-collar guys that were doing what they could to feed their families. I didn’t do any of that, but what’s worse is that I didn’t even want to.
By this time I had become so practiced in shutting out uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that I could sit through any missionary presentation without feeling a thing. I admired those that had a desire to leave the comforts of home and closeness to their families to go to the hurting and the lost, but I had no desire to do such a thing myself. Other than occasionally giving more than a tithe to a missions fund or special offering, I never did much of anything out of my comfort zone of ministering in my church or taking part in a local outreach.
But God changed all of that.
It began with a prayer. Nothing fancy. Just a quick request before going to bed that God would give me a heart of compassion. That He would give me eyes to see the hurting as He sees them. That I would be moved by the things that move His heart.
Without even realizing what was happening, God began to answer that prayer. I see things differently now. A prostitute is no longer someone that has no morals, but a woman being forced to walk a road of sin that she never intended to travel and has no idea how to escape from even if she had the means and opportunity to try. A rebellious child in foster care is no longer just a brat in need of discipline, but a soul in need of love and care and protection. The missing posters at Walmart are no longer nameless ghosts of faces that I hurry past without a thought. They are children who, in many cases, are being pimped and beaten for the profit of one that specializes in wielding power over the weak.
Jeff Goins calls this change of heart that I have experienced being “wrecked.” I didn’t even realize the full extent of what had happened to me until I read his book this week and discovered that not only is being “wrecked” a really good thing, but that it is very much a God thing. It is something that needs to happen to a person before they can really be used by God for their full potential. The frustration, passion, anger, sorrow in the pit of my stomach and desire to do something, anything, and everything that God asks of me is exactly where I need to be right now. It is a process that God is working in my heart so that when the time is right and He is ready to ask me to make a difference in the life of someone in a situation totally foreign to me that I am ready to answer His call instead of looking the other way and pretending I didn’t hear Him.
I can’t say that this journey has been fun and I’m not entirely sure where this discomfort is going to lead me, but I wouldn’t turn back from this new direction if you paid me to. Even though it has been painful and caused me to lose more than one or two nights of sleep, I’m so thankful that God is changing my heart.
If you are like I was—wondering what your purpose in life is supposed to be, wondering why you seem empty of emotion, or simply looking to find meaning out of life and a way to make a difference— I encourage you to pick up a copy of Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into your Comfortable Life by Jeff Goins. It beautifully articulates how God has “wrecked” my life, Jeff’s life and the lives of countless others for a greater purpose. God’s purpose. God can use us to make a difference in this world, to shine a light in this dark place. It might be uncomfortable, but as Jeff says,
Ask people who have radically changed their lives, and they’ll tell you the best decisions they made were when they were uncomfortable.
Wrecked by Jeff Goins
by donyadunlap | Jul 4, 2012 | Making a Difference, Modern Day Slavery
Today is the birthday of America. A great country that I am proud to be a citizen of during my existence on this planet. Today we celebrate freedom, but the cost of this freedom weighs heavy on my chest in a way that it never has before.
Freedom for the American and for the Christian was purchased through blood. Blood of the innocent. Blood shed willingly for those who were willing to die so that others may live in comfort and security. And yet, the tyrant of evil still reigns in this great country of ours and even in our churches, yet we turn a blind eye to its destruction and go back to our cookouts and sparklers.
I was once this way. I didn’t want to know about the sin and death around me. I felt helpless to stop it and incapable of making a difference so I didn’t watch the news, I ignored the headlines, I thought of the terrible wickedness portrayed through stories on tv, film and books as fairy tales. Oh, I’m sure those things do happen in the world somewhere, but it isn’t my concern.
But one day God made it my concern.
God opened my eyes to the terrible wickedness of human trafficking. He shocked me out of my complacency. How? By revealing to me that not only was this evil real, but that it happens in my communities, my neighborhoods, to people that I encounter every day and to children as young as my nieces and nephews, and even younger still.
No longer was rape part of a story line in a novel that finished with a nice story of redemption and rescue at the end so that I could sleep well at night. No. It was real. And the victims were the faces of those I loved. Young women who should be loved, protected and sheltered from such evil were being sold for drug money by those who should have been willing to die for them. No longer could I turn my eyes from the truth.
At that moment there was no going back.
Stories are told of Christians gathering during the World Wars as the trains of prisoners traveled past their little churches, crying out for someone to help them. Someone to care. Did they rise up? Did they rescue those poor souls on the way to their deaths? Did they pray for courage to fight back? No. They just sang louder.
Today I look around at my lovely home, my family and friends who are safe and happy and my many blessings and I am truly grateful. But no longer can I merely enjoy my comfortable life and sing until the screaming stops. Maybe I can’t single-handedly stop this moving train of abuse, kidnapping, forced-labor, rape and pornography by myself, but I can do something.
I can pray. I can get involved in petitions and law changing efforts that will help bring healing to the abused and justice to the perpetrators. I can learn how to reach out and help those who are trying to put their lives back together. I can use my words to raise awareness to those who haven’t yet chosen to look into the face of the evil and see the truth of the world around them. I can research ways to buy slave-free goods and write letters to companies to encourage them to use fair labor. I can sacrifice some of my comfortable life to donate to organizations that are actively fighting against the evil and helping to restore victims to wholesome lives once again.
On several occasions I have shared similar thoughts with other Christians and on more than one occasion have gotten a response back along the lines of “I can’t think about those kinds of things. It’s too much. I have to push those thoughts from my mind or I’ll never sleep at night.” I wonder what Jesus would say to that? Do you think He came to die for us and for every soul trapped in their personal hells on this earth so that Christians can live in luxury and security and turn a blind eye to the world around them? NO!
Moments before being arrested Jesus prayed for us. He prayed that we would bring the Father glory as we were sent into the world to fight against the evil. He didn’t expect it to be easy. He told His disciples that they would suffer like He was about to suffer. I ask you—are you willing to rise up out of your comfort zone and bring the glory of Christ into this world of darkness? Are you willing to accept the truth of the evil that surrounds us and determine to do something about it?
I beg of you to take off your blinders this Independence Day and rise up for FREEDOM. Freedom for the helpless. Freedom for the needy. Fight for the freedom of those that Christ died to set free. Let us not just enjoy the freedom that has been given to us by others. Let us blaze a trail for freedom for those still bound in the chains of sin and death all around us.
Let us once again make America the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave!
*Photo Credit: Robert Linder
by donyadunlap | Jun 22, 2012 | Making a Difference, Modern Day Slavery, The Spiritual Life
I am a closet super hero. And by that I don’t mean that I have a cape, a belt full of super-secret weapons, and a bat cave. Bats are cute and all, but I’m not all that excited about the idea of shacking up with them. Nor am I a fan of tights.
Photo Credit: GregW (creative commons – http://www.flickr.com/people/gregw)
What I mean is that by day I am a church secretary and by night I work towards and dream about being the kind of person that helps people change their lives and connect with God. My secret identity involves writing best-selling books, speaking at women’s conferences, helping single women find love and security in Jesus, and helping sex trafficking victims escape the life and build a new one in the freedom and safety of God’s grace. I want so badly to make a difference in this evil world and to bring God glory by my actions. But like the dashing Clark Kent, I spend the majority of my time “pushing paper.” Not that church bulletins and prayer sheets aren’t important, but they aren’t the things that get my heart racing and my mind spinning with possibilities. Those things are tucked safely in the depths of my heart and soul. The thing is…it’s getting stuffy in there.
Dreams are scary things. I’m not talking about the pizza induced nightmares that wake you up at 4am. I’m talking about the passion that rattles around in your chest and makes it hard for you to breathe sometimes. When God starts to shake you out of your comfort zone and stir up a passion in your heart for His glory it can be terrifying. It is for me. When I think of what I envision for my future, my insecurities and fears come at me like a tidal wave. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if no one buys my book? What if I try to help someone and I say the wrong thing? Where will I get the money I need? What if I can’t get these ideas off the ground? What if no one supports this? When will I have the time to do everything that needs to be done? Why would anyone want to listen to what I have to say? What if, what if, what if?
These are the thoughts that make me want to hide in my closet and never come out. The best way to ensure that you won’t fail is not to try, right? But then I remember 1 Thessalonians 5:24. I can’t help but remember it because I have it written on a sticky note on the bottom of my computer screen.
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
Just like Moses and David and Peter and everyone else in the Bible that God used to do great things, my dreams have very little to do with me. God placed them into my heart, God stirs them up when I try to hide from them, God gives me the courage to pray about them and God will bring them about in His way and in His time. All I have to do is baby-step-it in the right direction. Sometimes that looks like a desperate prayer for wisdom and direction. Sometimes that looks like an email seeking information. Sometimes it looks like late-night research. Sometimes it looks like getting up, going to work and doing what God has given me to do for that day.
Maybe someday I will find myself on a stage in front of 2,000 single ladies or hugging the shoulders of a women that I’ve helped get out from under the control of her pimp…but today is not that day. Today I have to do my best where God has me and take whatever baby step He prompts my heart to take.
Sometimes just doing the everyday stuff is overwhelming. When you wake up with this giant, chest-pounding, adrenaline pumping vision in your mind and you have to set that aside to work on a spreadsheet and answer a phone you can get pretty discouraged. The Enemy knows that and uses it against me to get me to believe that I’m never going to be “successful,” I’m never going to make a difference and my dreams are never going to happen. But then the Holy Spirit whispers into my soul the truth of 1 Thessalonians 5:24. It isn’t up to me. It’s up to God.
Several weeks ago author Jon Acuff wrote a statement that has found its home on a sticky note adjacent to the one I mentioned previously. It says,
“The success of God’s plans are not dependent on my ability to execute them. He will not be handcuffed by my failures or unleashed by my accomplishments. He is bigger than that.”
That statement was such an encouragement to me. God is bigger than my to-do list. God is bigger than my shortcomings. God is bigger than my fears. And whether or not all the visions of my heart come true, He will still be glorified as long as I remain obedient to Him in the little things.
Do you have a passion stirring in your heart? Do you have a special quote or verse that gets you through your doubt-filled days? I’d love to hear from you!
