by Donya Dunlap | Sep 2, 2016 | The Spiritual Life, Write Hard Things
Giving thanks for answered prayer is a joy when the answer is yes. But God’s answer doesn’t always come to us in the form we request. Sometimes God answers in an unexpected turn of events. And sometimes He simply says, “no.”
Fifteen years ago I thought I had my life all planned out. I was going to marry the man of my dreams and have a family and be a faithful servant in our local church. I didn’t understand why God let it all fall apart.
Three years ago I moved to Charlotte to start a women’s ministry. I thought I might stay there forever. God had other plans.
Six months ago my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I wanted her to stay here. I wanted her to be well. God said no.
Blessings in disguise
These three seasons of prayer reflect extremely difficult times in my life, but looking back, I can truly give thanks for what God has done. My life as a single has brought amazing gifts I could never have imagined and opportunities to serve God that others envy.
My time in Charlotte was full of challenges and blessings. I learned so much and I grew in my relationship with Christ. I don’t regret one minute of my short time there.
Now, I wish more than anything that I could hug my mom again and talk with her. The pain of her absence is with me every day. But she’s with Jesus and I wouldn’t take her away from Him if I could. Her body is whole and she is with people she loves who have gone before her. I’m happy for my mom.
Prayer changes us, not always our circumstances
Above all things I pray that God will honor His promise in Psalm 37:4 to give me the desires of my heart. But before He does, I ask that He first align my desires to His will. I have learned I don’t always know what is best for myself. But if I surrender my will to His loving hand, He will work all things together for good—both for my benefit and for His glory.
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! – Matthew 7:11
When I was young and my tender heart was broken I couldn’t see the good. Still, time has shown God’s promises to be true. God does give His children all good things. The difficult thing is to remember that Matthew 7:11 is true whether or not our circumstances appear to be good.
Even in the midst of our darkest days, God’s Word is true. Trusting in His promises can give us peace and hope to carry us through the trials we all must face. If we choose to run to God in our pain, we will be protected from the bitter thoughts, anger, and fear trying to rob us of our joy, health, and testimony.
The Great I AM can be trusted with little me
I wish I knew 15 years ago what I know today. I wish I had trusted God more and been more faithful during difficult trials. Those things that brought me great pain I now count as precious in my life. Even in my current grief, I can find reasons to give thanks. It’s not always easy, but I know that God is at work, even in the death of my mom.
As I look to the future and the uncertainty of what tomorrow holds, God’s faithfulness in the past and His promises for the present give me courage. Regardless of whether or not my prayers are answered according to my plans, I will choose to be thankful. I will remember Romans 8:28 and I will trust the Spirit who is holding me up before the throne, seeking God’s best for my life.
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 30, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
Anytime emotions are brought up, I get a little nervous. I have emotions. Just not as wide a range of them as most people. My emotion meter ranges from “Contented Ice Queen” to “Ugly Cry” with only a few stops in-between. I’m not much for subtlety.
So when I read books on the love of God and hear emotion filled testimony on what He means to a person, I often feel like my love is inadequate. After reading one such book this weekend, I decided to turn to Scripture to determine if my relationship with God is as it should be.
Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind
I looked first to the words of Jesus.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. – Matthew 22:37-40
But what does that look like in real life?
Loving Your Neighbor is Loving Your Lord
The verses above continue to instruct that we should also love our neighbor as ourselves. A few chapters later, Jesus expounds on this thought when He teaches on the final judgment.
Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me…Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me. – Matthew 25:34-40
Loving the Lord clearly includes showing kindness to those created in His image, but what else is required?
Love as Christ loved the Church
I thought of the marriage covenant as a picture of God’s love for us. I recalled Paul’s instructions to the Ephesians.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. – Ephesians 5:25-28
The picture was coming together, but one other passage needed to be considered.
Love is…
Paul wrote a detailed explanation of love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7. For sake of space, I will not include the verses here, but I encourage you to read them for yourself. He explains love is patient, kind, hopeful, and many more things than we often ignore when we think of the word. Butterflies and sunsets are nice, but true love is so much more.
20 Questions
Based on these Scriptures, I drafted 20 questions to determine if I have been loving my Lord well.
- Am I willing to sacrifice personal comfort for the Lord?
- Do I show honor and deference to the Lord as I would to myself?
- Do I praise and thank Him often?
- Do I serve Him?
- Do I spend time with Him?
- Do I give generously to Him and His children?
- Do I display patience towards Him?
- Do I speak and act kindly to Him?
- Do I speak of myself and my abilities more than Him and His power in me?
- Do I think more highly of Him or myself?
- Am I continually seeking for Him to meet my needs or am I searching for ways to give thanks for all He has already given?
- Am I offended when He does not orchestrate circumstances to my liking?
- Do I remember unanswered prayers with resentment?
- Do I celebrate His truth or reject it?
- Do I endure suffering and trials with joyful trust in Him or with anger and frustration?
- Do I believe He wants the best for my future?
- Do I take Him at His word?
- Do I deflect praise to Him or seek glory for myself?
- Do I obey His directives?
- Do I follow His leadership in my life?
While there will always be room for improvement in all relationships this side of Heaven, we can deepen and cultivate our relationship with God just as we can grow in our earthly relationships. I encourage you to take stock of your own relationship with the Lord, celebrating the good and taking note of areas needing improvement.
Have I left anything out? What questions would you add to this list? Add your thoughts in the comments below.
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 26, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
In preparing for the October series, 31 Days of Journaling through the Psalms, I spent time this week in Psalm 17. The last verse has always been a personal favorite. When I slowed down to journal, the connection to the previous verses made itself clear. Verses 13-15 are actually a contrast.
Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!
Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,
from men by your hand, O Lord,
from men of the world whose portion is in this life.
You fill their womb with treasure;
they are satisfied with children,
and they leave their abundance to their infants.
As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.
– Psalm 17:13-15
David’s dream VS the American dream
David writes often of his enemies, asking God to overcome them on his behalf. But here, the description of his enemy is a bit odd. It’s as if David is against the American dream. He asks to be delivered from men who find satisfaction in the things of this life: treasure, children, a legacy to leave behind. In contrast, David’s desire is to be satisfied in the Lord.
David understood the ease of letting our eyes wander. It is as if he looked at the men around him, saw they were settling for earthly treasure, and knew he needed to fight the same temptation. He also knew he needed help. He calls on God to draw His sword and fight for him.
Our treasure and our hearts are inseparable
I wish I could always say I only have eyes for Jesus, but it isn’t true. My eyes quite often stray to cute shoes, cozy cottages, and European vacations. My eyes even become nearsighted at times—taking their focus off God’s plan for the Gospel and hyper focusing on my dreams and to-do list.
More times than I care to admit, the center of my universe shifts away from God and becomes all about me. My thoughts reveal my true love is myself. I may be doing the right things or saying the right things, but God sees the truth.
I remember a time in college, during the winter months, sitting outside talking to a man I was completely enamored with, not noticing the cold at all. Back at the dorm, my face was red and my hands ached from the winter air, but just a few minutes before, all I needed to stay warm was to look into the eyes of the one I loved.
It may be a silly comparison, but that is what our relationships with Jesus should be like. A love affair making all other temptations fade away. A Savior we are willing to give our lives for without question.
Battle readiness requires a change in focus
The danger with the American dream is it desensitizes us to the Spirit’s leading and the mission of the Gospel. Having nice things is not a sin, but when possessions or people take our focus away from the spiritual battle we are engaged in daily, we become open to attack from the enemy.
David understood the fight against complacency needs to be a proactive one. We must root out the tendrils of covetousness in our hearts and actively fight to keep our eyes on Jesus. It may mean shortening our time on Pinterest or putting down our phones for a day. It may even mean ending a relationship we know is distracting us from God. Whatever we have to do to keep our hearts centered on Jesus is a battle worthy of our effort.
Soldiers never go into battle alone. I encourage you to link arms with your spiritual sisters and help each other in this fight for pure hearts and eyes. If you have found ways that have kept your heart focused in times of temptation, please share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you.
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 23, 2016 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
This is a post written from the heat of the battle. If you follow me on social media, you know I don’t have this all figured out. However, I am looking to one who did as a guide. If you find yourself a little lost in your circumstances too, let’s link arms and follow Paul together, shall we?
Paul’s Circumstances
The main theme of Paul’s letter to the Philippians is joy. This might not seem all that unusual to you, unless you understand he wrote the letter in jail. Prison in Paul’s day was not a safely guarded 9×9 room with proper bathroom facilities, a mattress and clean bedding, three meals a day, and cable.
If I were in Paul’s sandals, I wouldn’t be writing such a cheerful letter to my friends encouraging them to “Rejoice in the Lord always; and again, I say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4)
My letter would be more along the lines of, “HELP!!! Get me out of here! Call your congressmen! Get me a fair trial! I need a good lawyer! Pray God gets me out of this mess!”
Paul’s Perspective
Paul had hope and joy in impossible circumstances. Can you imagine? He was an innocent man, living in horrible conditions, awaiting news of a possible death sentence, and he sends a letter saying (my translation of Philippians 1:12-30):
Hey friends, I know you think this situation is bad, but really it’s good because the gospel is being furthered. Everybody in the palace is talking about what Christ has done in my life. And a lot of Christians are becoming bold in their witness because of my imprisonment. There are a few guys out there preaching out of envy and talking badly about me, but they are preaching the gospel and that’s all that matters.
Besides, I know you are praying for me. Between your prayers and the Holy Spirit’s power, I know that Christ will be glorified whether or not they kill me. I’d really love to go heaven right now, but I also know that I have some work to do still so I believe I’ll be released shortly.
I want to encourage you to not lose hope. Live lives worthy of the gospel of Christ so that I will be encouraged by your testimony. And don’t worry about what might happen. It is a gift to suffer for Christ’s sake. Trust me. I know.”
Paul’s Example
In these few verses, Paul gives us four ways we can find hope in our circumstances.
- Focus on the Gospel: Every Christian’s life is part of a bigger picture. What happens to us is part of God’s plan to bring Himself glory. How? By drawing people to Him. When they see Christians trusting God in their difficulties it sparks their curiosity, which then provides opportunity for the Gospel to impact their lives. Paul knew this and capitalized on his suffering to spread the Good News of Jesus.
- Be Thankful for Everything: I’m sure Paul wasn’t happy to be in jail with people were badmouthing him. Still, he found reasons to be thankful. I discuss this in length in The Wonder Woman’s Manifesto. Thankfulness rewires our brains, changing negativity to positivity and complaint to praise. It takes work, but it is our key to joy.
- Remember Others Are Watching: Paul knew people were watching him. The guards in the prison, the civil leadership, and most importantly, the churches he ministered to. His disposition proved Jesus is worth any difficulty you might face—even death.
- Reframe Your Circumstances: To Paul, prison just meant a captive audience. Slanders were megaphones for the Gospel. Death was a long-awaited opportunity to give Jesus a hug. If Paul can reframe his circumstances, I can. And you can in your difficulty too.
These four things take deliberate action and forced repetition. But with a little work I believe we, like Paul, can find our hope and joy in all circumstances.
Do you find yourself struggling with your circumstances? Please know you are not alone. If you would be so kind to share a little in the comments, I would love to pray with you and for you.
Also, if you would like a free copy of The Wonder Woman’s Manifesto, simply subscribe and a link will be sent to your inbox.
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 19, 2016 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
Throughout Scripture the imagery of marriage is used to depict Israel’s relationship with God. He is the Groom, she is the bride. But even this marriage has its ups and downs.
Many of the messages given by the prophets in the Old Testament warn Israel of the judgment coming as a result of their unfaithfulness to God. They broke their covenant vows and worshipped pagan idols. As punishment for their idolatry, God rejected them for a time. You may recall the stories of Nehemiah and Daniel, main characters during the times of the exile, or diaspora, when Israel was captured and spread among the kingdoms of their enemies.
Isaiah 54:1-8 is prophesying both this exile and Israel’s ultimate return to God. In ancient times, barrenness was a disgraceful state for a woman. It brought them much shame. If a woman was divorced or widowed without children to care for them, they were often destitute. The passage depicts Israel as this rejected woman, full of disgrace. But that isn’t how this story ends.
Preparing the guest rooms
Israel’s household will soon be filled to overflowing. Israel will not be ashamed any longer, and will forget their reproach. While God set Israel aside for a time, He will restore their relationship in love.
“I deserted you for a brief moment, but I will take you back with great compassion. In a surge of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, but I will have compassion on you with everlasting love,” says the Lord your Redeemer. – Isaiah 54:7-8
Why? The Maker is her husband. The Lord of hosts, the Holy One of Israel, the God of the whole earth, Jehovah is their Redeemer.
Even more exciting is the connection the Apostle Paul made for us, those who do not belong to Israel but believe in Christ as our Savior.
For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ like a garment. There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, heirs according to the promise. – Galatians 3:27-29
In God’s great kindness, He has called us. We are also His bride, His beloved.
Celebrating God’s love
God proves His love to us in unmeasurable ways every day, but just as the Israelites did, I still have a hard time accepting and living under His love. Sometimes this is because God’s love is so much greater than the earthly relationships influencing our understanding of love. Our parents are a huge influence in this area. Our boyfriends, husbands and past relationships impact our understanding of love as well. But God’s love is pure, unselfish, and abundant.
God’s love is a reality that we will never fully understand this side of heaven, despite all God has done demonstrate it. The greatest example of His love is the sacrifice of His precious Son. Like Israel, we too were barren. We were lost in our sins—slaves to wickedness and the Wicked One—but God paid our ransom. Jesus Christ shed His blood and returned to life to redeem us, enabling us to have a personal relationship with Him!
When I set aside my selfish ideas of how my life should be and focus on God’s love for me, I am overwhelmed with feelings of repentance, unworthiness, gratitude and a desire to give back to God a portion of what He’s given to me. My feeble attempts at loving Him never seem enough. Yet again, God promises to take our little offerings of love, and like the lunch of the young boy who was willing to give everything to Jesus, He multiplies them many times over.
Singing for joy
At the beginning of the passage God instructs the barren and widowed to sing. Singing can be hard when you are sad, but God is returning the joy of their relationship. He encourages Israel to respond with song. It may be that life has stolen your singing voice, but I encourage you to not allow your circumstances to steal your praise.
In a recent post, I talked about how difficult it is to sing in my grief, but that hasn’t stopped me from praising God. I still respond in my spirit to the words as others sing. I also use journaling and writing to praise Him for His goodness to me. Singing is wonderful, but there are other ways to praise and give thanks. Find a way to rejoice in your relationship with God. Allow your praise to strengthen your love for Him.
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 16, 2016 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
If you are familiar with the story of Moses sending twelve spies into Canaan, you may be thinking I mistyped the title. I didn’t. We are all the twelve spies of Canaan. Not the ten that were afraid or the two that got it right. All twelve.
The Mission
The instructions were simple. Moses pulled one representative from each tribe to make up the team. These were all top-notch guys. If there were an Olympic sport for spying, this team would win gold.
Moses trusted them to evaluate the situation in Canaan and return with information on the people, the cities, and the lay of the land (Numbers 13:17-20). At the end of the 40 days, the team returned with mixed reviews.
The Obstacle
All twelve of the men raved over the quality of the land and its wealth. They had no dispute over the abundance of food or the beauty of the landscape. But when it came to the people of the land, two men saw cities ripe for the taking and ten men saw giants. Really big ones. With big scary muscles to squish them with—translated loosely from the Hebrew.
The Reality
Somedays I feel like linking arms with Joshua and Caleb and charging ahead, guns blazing. On those days, God is big, my hair looks great, and nothing can stop me.
But then there are days when giants happen. Big smelly, hairy giants like literary agents, publishing contracts, and marketing experts. On those days I look at my to-do list, I look in the mirror, and I tell God it can’t be done. Maybe if I had an army to help draft amazing query letters and edit my drafts, and a social media guru or two…maybe then I could do it. But just little me against all those giants? I feel like a squeaky grasshopper in comparison, just like the Israelites felt in comparison to their lanky counterparts.
We all want to be courageous and full of faith. We admire the Joshua’s and Caleb’s in our circles, reading books about how to be more like them. But at the end of the day, we go back to the wilderness.
The Wilderness
There are times when we are the ten spies who choose the wilderness. And there are times when we are the two who have to endure the wilderness because of someone else’s choices. We don’t always have an option as to where we sleep for forty years, but we do have a choice in how we use our daylight hours.
The ten and everyone who agreed with them continued to doubt God and complain about their circumstances until they all died. Joshua and Caleb never did. They stayed faithful, humble, and engaged. When God said it was time to go forward, they were ready, strong, and prepared for a fight.
If your circumstances are looking dry and dusty, don’t argue with God about it. Seek His face. Open your heart to personal change. You may not be able to improve your neighborhood, but you can always improve yourself. Lift whatever spiritual weights necessary to prepare yourself for the battles ahead.
If your time is now and you find yourself paralyzed by giants, move! It’s okay to be afraid. Fear does not disqualify you from service. Choosing to reject God’s promise over your evaluation of the circumstances does.
God can use you afraid. Remember, the battle is the Lord’s. We simply have the privilege of tagging along for the show.
The Mountain
You’re not going to wake up most days feeling like Joshua and Caleb. You’re going to feel like your bones ache and you ate too much pizza the night before. Feelings are valid, but they are not valid excuses for staying in the wilderness. Feelings adjust as you do just as faith grows as it is exercised.
You don’t have to conquer the whole land before you today. Pick your mountain, make your plan, move forward. The land before you is rich with God’s blessings and presence. He will give you the courage and resources as you walk with Him.
Are you standing outside your Promised Land in fear? Share your circumstances below. We all need encouragement from time to time. Allow others to come alongside you as you pick your mountain and prepare to move ahead.
