by Donya Dunlap | Aug 9, 2016 | The Spiritual Life, Write Hard Things
I can’t sing. For a person whose life finds its center in music, this is a big deal.
It started in February. After learning that my mom had cancer, I found myself unable to sing a few of the songs at church without crying. Then during chorale rehearsals, I cried every time we practiced Ashoken Farewell. As my mother worsened, my music selections dwindled. Soon I no longer reached for the radio or sat in a song service that could be avoided.
I thought, in time, my song would return to me. But even now, more than three months past mom’s funeral, I find myself standing silent while others are worshipping, tears streaming down my face.
Worshipping in dust and ashes
In these last months, I’ve come to understand what Job felt when he said,
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. – Job 1:21
Job was devastated by the loss of his children. These words did not come from his lips flippantly. In his lowest moment, face pressed to the ground, tears turning the dust to mud, Job worshipped. He didn’t lift his hands. He didn’t sing a song. He simply surrendered all he had and all he was to the God who held Him in His hands.
My dear friend, when grief presses you to the dust, worship there! … Remember the exhortation of the Psalmist David, “Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us” (Psalm 62:8). When you are bowed down beneath a heavy burden of sorrow, worship and adore God there. In full surrender to His divine will, say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). This kind of worship subdues the will, arouses the affections, stirs the whole mind, and presents you to God in solemn consecration. This worship sweetens sorrow and takes away its sting.
– Charles Spurgeon, Beside Still Waters
Worshipping from the inside out
Worship is both outward action and inward response. Body, soul, and spirit united in surrender and adoration to God for who He is. Worshipping at church on Sunday can look very different from a tear stained pillow at night, but God sees the heart. He knows when our spirits rebel against His will for our lives and when we humbly submit to it.
I believe someday I will sing again. But until I do, I will silently affirm my belief in God’s goodness and my trust in His plan.
Do I understand? No. Thankfully, understanding is not a prerequisite for worship. If that were so, no one could bow before the One that is infinitely beyond all we can imagine. All He asks for are hearts bowed in love and humility.
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move,
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through,
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You,
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You.
-Lauren Daigle
I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have a voice with which to praise. But I believe that God is at work for my good and His glory…and that is a sacrifice well pleasing to the Father.
Join the conversation! I welcome your questions and comments below.
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by Donya Dunlap | Aug 2, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
This weekend I read a book that got me all tied up in knots. It is an inspirational memoir by a popular author that is my age and single, or she was at the time the book was released. We both graduated high school in 1997. I had a great job right after graduating college. She found her dream job not long after. We both have a desire to be a blessing to single women. We both are bloggers and authors. But it is here that our similarities cease.
Even though our paths are vastly different and our destinations likewise, I chose to focus on her current success compared to my stuckness. It’s a word. Trust me. I quickly became upset and decided to throw a colossal pity party, complete with tears and tissues and a few bemoaning texts to a friend. It wasn’t pretty.
The next morning I dragged my puffy eyes out of bed and began my day with morning pages. Of course the bruises to my heart and ego still felt fresh so this is what I poured onto my three designated pages of brain dumping. I realized quickly how foolish I was being. I realized that I didn’t want her life or her blessings, so why should I be jealous of her success?
Everyone is on a different journey.
Comparing my path to someone else’s path is like comparing the Golden Gate Bridge to a Boeing 757. They both help people get to their final destinations, but they look and operate in completely different ways. Expecting a bridge to look like a plane is foolishness, just like expecting my life to look like anyone else’s life is also foolishness.
Comparison is also a fast way to breed discontent and ungratefulness. I look at my dead ends and detours and feel discouraged because I am comparing them to her successes. I see her starting point and her current location and ignore all she endured in the middle. Loss of career. Bad relationships. Mental breakdown. Physical abuse. She had detours too. Detours I wouldn’t want, just like I am sure she wouldn’t want to travel mine.
Everyone has different goals and rewards.
If I were to hold up my dreams to this author’s vision board, they would look vastly different. Well, aside from both coveting the New York Times Bestseller List, but what author doesn’t want that? When she was mapping out her journey she had planned sight seeing stops like New York City, meeting Oprah, getting married. I want to live in Italy for at least 3-6 months, meet Christine Caine, and adopt a little girl.
If I met Oprah, that wouldn’t be as exciting to me as it was for her. Her blessings are handcrafted to fit her heart’s desires perfectly just like mine are. Spending one second coveting her life is an affront to the Creator who made us both uniquely beautiful.
Joy is a treasure hunt.
If I spend my time comparing myself to others and looking for their blessings, I will miss those special gifts God has hidden for me all throughout my day. If I am to enjoy my trip, I need to make it a treasure hunt. I need to walk eyes wide open, looking for God’s good hand around every corner.
Even in our dead ends and detours, God has treasures for us to find. Nuggets of wisdom. Jewels of friendship. Difficult experiences can turn into precious memories, just like diamonds in the rough.
Choose today to find the treasures meant only for you. Put the maps and the measuring sticks away. Find your joy.
Have you found yourself on an unexpected detour in life that ended up being a wonderful blessing in disguise? Share your experience in the comments below.
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by Donya Dunlap | Jul 13, 2016 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
The Bible is a collection of 66 books composed of multiple genres of literature. History, narrative, prophecy, law, wisdom, poetry, parable…even romance! Fiction, however, is not one of them.
Scripture details real events, with the exception of a few passages meant to be figurative. However, by approaching Scripture as a history book, we tend to adopt the attitude that we had in school—that studying is difficult and boring.
If this is how you’ve thought of studying Scripture, you are not alone. But even better news—Bible study is not algebra! Can I get an amen?
Studying Scripture can be fascinating and exciting—and there is absolutely a place for holy imagination. Shall we give it a try?
Biblical “Characters”
It is a common pitfall for fiction writers to go easy on their characters—not so in Scripture. The people in the Bible are just like we are—full of conflict and good intentions, regrets and personality quirks. All their dirty laundry is put on display.
Think about Peter walking the shores of Galilee after the resurrection. He is a tangled mess of emotions. He feels shame for betraying Jesus, relief that He is alive, embarrassment for returning to his old life, love for his friend and mentor, and hope that Jesus really will trust him enough to give him a place in His kingdom work. Can you feel his conflict?
Remember Hannah? We find her sobbing in the temple. She is desperate for a child, beaten down by the constant antagonism of her rival. Her husband doesn’t understand, her body won’t cooperate, and Eli, the priest, accuses her of being drunk. A short time later things start looking up and Hannah has a son, only she gives him away after he is weaned. Can you imagine doing the same?
Moses is hand picked by God for his leadership abilities, yet he had an explosive temper that caused him to go postal on a rock. As a result, he is forbidden from entering the promised land. And that’s after he kills a man, tries to cover it up, and lives as a fugitive for 40 years.
If you were the author…
If you were to write a novel, would you draft chapter after chapter preparing the reader for a coming King and then have Him show up as a helpless baby born in a cave? Then, just when things start turning around, He is killed by the people He was meant to lead. Jesus is not your normal protagonist.
Furthermore, who would invent a hero with super-human strength then have him lose that strength through the deception of a woman and die in captivity by pulling a building on to himself? Samson is probably not going to get picked up by Marvel anytime soon.
And what about David? His story starts out well. He’s the scrappy underdog who gains the favor of the people through his bravery and becomes everyone’s favorite king. But then he murders his lover’s husband and his son tries to kill him for the throne. That’s not a bad plot twist, but it’s certainly not the happy ending I would write. Still, we think of David today as a hero, not a villain.
Truth really is stranger than fiction.
Why does it matter?
There are two main reasons why I encourage studying Scripture through the lens of fiction.
- It pulls you into the story. Imagine the sights and sounds of Jerusalem at Passover. Breathe in the dust of the walls as you watch the bricks of Jericho’s walls crash into the desert sand. Feel the rough, hand sewn hem of Jesus’ robe as if you were the woman with the issue of blood, desperate for healing. By immersing yourself in the text, you give yourself new eyes to see the familiar stories, and provide an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to speak to you in fresh ways.
- It provides discussion points with unbelievers. Christians believe the Bible to be truth, but there are many that feel the Bible is just a collection of ancient fairy tales. If you find yourself in a friendly conversation with someone holding this belief, ask them if they would write their memoir like the Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John did. If I was writing my memoir, I would probably leave out all the whining, the times when I just didn’t understand what was happening, and the personal failures. The disciples didn’t. Why would they include these details if they weren’t true?
Dust off your imagination!
Timothy tells us that God gave us His word so we will grow in knowledge and service. To do that, we must read and study it.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
The next time you open the Bible, I challenge you to put yourself in the story and watch it come alive before your eyes. But be warned—it will change your life in the process.
Join the conversation! Write your thoughts and Bible study tips in the comments below.
by Donya Dunlap | Jul 5, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
Have you ever wished that you could be invisible? I have. I’ve wished I had the magic of a two-year-old playing a game of peek-a-boo—I could cover my eyes and make the world go away. As adults we think children who “hide” in plain sight are adorable. We don’t realize we play the same game with God under a different name—church face.
What is church face?
It’s that little game made popular in Egypt…denial. (I couldn’t help myself) We plaster that fake smile on our faces, grab our Bibles, dust off our spiritual catch phrases, and pretend like everything between us and God is a-okay. It’s one of the worst states in which we can find ourselves. We can’t correct what we won’t admit is a problem…and this is a big problem.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. 1 John 1:8, 10
Church face is different from saving face.
Sometimes we play church face out of self-preservation. I get that. I’ve played a lot of church face just to get through a worship service without crying. I’m not talking about social niceties and salvaging your makeup. The problem comes when we come before the throne of God with our masks on.
Sometimes we find ourselves praying in handmade, fig leaf dresses just like Eve did. We think things like, “I don’t really need to confess that…it’s really not that bad.” or “I can’t give this dream to God. What if He doesn’t allow it to come to pass?” These thoughts…these accusations…reveal that we lack understanding of the true nature of our Heavenly Father who seeks to grow us in love and give us all good things.
We can’t live in freedom if we don’t wash our church face off. Denial may keep our internal boat from rocking too uncomfortably, but it will drown us, keeping us from our destination of fruitfulness in Christ.
The key is seeing God for Who He truly is.
As Jesus followers, God is no longer our Judge, Jury and Executioner. The payment for sin was made on the cross. Our debts have been paid in full! The Apostle Paul assures us that…
Our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:6-7
We have been set free, but living this out takes action on our side. We have to implement the truth. Each time we choose to be honest before the Father, He draws us into deeper fellowship with Him.
This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:5-7
Scripture doesn’t say that we are to be perfect. It says that we are to be honest. In order for God to walk with us, we must choose to walk in the light of His Word. We must confess our faults and dreams to Him. We must give Him permission to release our chains and wipe clean our church face.
Swap your church face for a welcome mat.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20
God is knocking on your heart’s door, but you hold the key. You must accept that God’s love does not grow based on our goodness. He knows the secret places of your heart and loves you still. Why not invite him into those places and infuse them with the light of His truth? It seems scary and painful, but by opening that door, you will find freedom. And freedom is so much more beautiful than church face.
by Donya Dunlap | Jul 1, 2016 | The Single Life, The Spiritual Life
If social media had 10 Commandments, “Thou shalt be perfect” would be number 1.
Thou shalt have the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect children, and the perfect house. You must say the right things, follow the right people, and agree with the right politics OR you will not be accepted. You will be an outcast.
Sadly, this rejection happens frequently in the church as well. When it does, it’s a small leap to feel rejected by God. We believe that our looks, education, personalities, or our past prevents us from being used by God. We accept these lies and act accordingly, walking in shame when God has already given us victory, power, and purpose in Christ!
Israel’s Outcasts
Isaiah records two groups of people that felt like outcasts in his day: foreigners and eunuchs. Today’s equivalent would be non-“church people” and singles.
If you didn’t grow up in church and you don’t know the lingo, when to stand, when to sing, and where Ecclesiastes is in the Bible, you can quickly feel like you don’t belong.
As a single person in the church, you can feel shunned by the Sunday School classes for parents and ladies events geared towards married people. You start to believe the lie that if God hasn’t blessed you with a spouse and children that you are being punished.
Thankfully, God doesn’t see either group the way we humans often do.
Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say,
“The Lord will surely separate me from his people”;
and let not the eunuch say,
“Behold, I am a dry tree.”
For thus says the Lord:
“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast my covenant,
I will give in my house and within my walls
a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that shall not be cut off.
Isaiah 56:3-5 ESV
What a powerful promise! God looks at the foreigner and makes him family. God looks at the eunuch and gives him an everlasting name—one better than having offspring would have provided.
How is this possible?
Grace.
For years I had the mindset that God saved me by grace, but that I had to earn His favor through my good works. I was consumed with trying to be everything I thought everyone else wanted me to be. The ghost of perfection haunted me and made me feel like a failure.
Then I began to learn one live-giving truth.
God’s acceptance of us is based in His grace—period.
When I accepted God’s gift of salvation, my sin was exchanged for Christ’s righteousness. All of it. When God looks at me He doesn’t see an outcast. He sees the perfection of His beloved Son. I am accepted and loved by God because of Jesus’ work on the cross, not any work that I have done or ever will do.
Living under the guilt of things already forgiven is disregarding God’s grace. Striving to earn His pleasure by doing good works is calling God a liar. To quote Jesus:
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.
Matthew 22: 37-38
The 10 Commandments prove that following a list of do’s and don’ts is impossible. Rules cannot make us holy. Only Christ’s righteousness can make us holy. Trying to “do better,” “rededicating our lives to God” and all other similar mindsets only set us up for failure. The problem is continuing to focus on ourselves.
Putting our focus on Christ is the only way to walk in victory.
Will we still sin? Yes. But when we do, we do not roll about in it, convinced that we are worthless. We confess it—accepting His forgiveness and putting our focus back on Him. Our failures do not define us. We must accept Christ’s forgiveness and grow in thankfulness for His grace.
The world, and even other Christians, may still consider you or me to be an outcast, but God calls us His own. If you haven’t received God’s gift of salvation, you can do so today. According to the God “who gathers the outcasts of Israel,” all are welcome to receive His grace.
Thank you for reading! If you would like to discuss these truths further, you can post a comment below, or take part in the Facebook Live video about this post happening at 10:00 a.m., Friday, July 1. Get a reminder by liking this page and clicking to receive notifications in your newsfeed.
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 28, 2016 | How Great is Our God, The Spiritual Life
BUT GOD.
Don’t you just love those two little words? Two little words can change everything in an instant. Two little words that cause the blind to see, the lame to walk, the barren to be a mother of children, and the dead to live again!
Joseph had a BUT GOD testimony that resulted in an entire nation being saved from a slow death by starvation. The children of Israel had a BUT GOD moment, delivering them from the Philistines after leaving Egypt. Samson had a BUT GOD moment bringing him refreshment and encouragement after a difficult battle left him depleted. David had a BUT GOD moment when he was told Solomon would build the temple in his place. All wonderful examples of God’s sovereignty and intervention in the lives of His children, but my personal favorite is recorded in Acts 13:29-31:
And when they had fulfilled all that was written of him, they took him down from the tree, and laid him in a sepulchre. BUT GOD raised him from the dead.
Forgiveness of sin, a home in heaven and endless fellowship with our Creator for the whole of mankind was made possible by those two little words. Even in death, God can bring new life.
Sometimes the end is just the beginning.
On Friday, all hope was lost. The Messiah was mocked, beaten, crucified and placed in a tomb. His disciples were frightened, disillusioned and hopeless with no where to go, but back to the Upper Room. It was there that they shared their last meal with Jesus, but then moments later, failed Him when He needed them most. BUT after all this GOD raised Him from the dead! Hope was restored, lives were made new and a world was turned upside-down with the Gospel.
God is in the business of redirections.
In the midst of the darkest of times, if you pay attention, you can feel the gentle hand of an all-knowing God on your back, leading you to places of blessing and glory to His name. Many, many times God said no to my plan so that He could show me that His plan was far more than I could have imagined.
Life is full of illusions.
There will be days when it seems all is lost. There will be seasons where Satan sends the floodwaters of doubt and pain sweeping through your life, taking from you all you hold dear. You may face years where your children abandon the truths you so diligently taught them. You may wake up one day and learn your spouse doesn’t love you anymore. Your business may crumble. Your checkbook may be in the red. Your internal landscape may seem forever painted in gray. Don’t lose hope! God’s strength is not determined by how you feel and what you face. He can and will carry you through it all.
What you see is not always what you get. These two words tell me that God can use my disappointment to set the stage for a bright tomorrow. This is where faith enters in. Will you choose to trust in the hope that you cannot see? Will you praise Him in your storm?
Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! Psalm 107:8
Do you have a special “but God” moment in your life? If so, I’d love for you to share your testimony in the comments below. You never know how your story can encourage someone in pain today.
