by Donya Dunlap | Jun 23, 2016 | The Spiritual Life, Write Hard Things
In 1873, Horatio Spafford planned a trip to Europe with his family. They were to leave Chicago and cross the Atlantic by boat to join his friends DL Moody and Ira Sanky at an evangelistic crusade they were having in England. The time away was meant to help the family grieve the loss of their son two years earlier, and the later loss of much of Spafford’s real estate holdings that burned in the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
Just before their departure, Spafford decided to remain at home to attend to some last minute business. He sent his wife and four daughters ahead as scheduled, promising to join them shortly. Some days later, Spafford received a telegraph from his wife reading, “saved alone.” An accident mid-voyage caused their ship to sink. The Spafford’s four daughters drowned.
Spafford immediately left to join his grieving wife in England. At the proper time, the captain of the ship called for Spafford to inform him they were sailing over the location believed to be the final resting place for his daughters. Reeling from his loss, Spafford wrote to a family member,
On Thursday last we passed over the spot where she went down in mid-ocean, the water three miles deep. But I do not think of our dear ones there. They are safe, folded, the dear lambs, and there, before very long, shall we be too. In the mean time, thanks to God, we have an opportunity to serve and praise Him for His love and mercy to us and ours. I will praise Him while I have my being. May we each one arise, leave all, and follow Him.
spaffordhymn.com
Horatio Spafford personified the words of Jesus spoken to His disciples.
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Life accounts such as Horatio Spafford’s and the book of Job bring us face to face with tragedy and suffering that is unimaginable, and yet a part of every Christian’s life. We each experience waves of great loss and pain that sweep over us, making us feel as if we are drowning in grief. We look to heaven and question why God allows such sorrow. We doubt His love in the depths of our despair. Jesus’ response is always the same.
Jesus wept. John 11:35
Isaiah reminds us that Jesus is “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3) The writer of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is able to be our Great High Priest precisely because He is able to sympathize with our weaknesses having experienced them Himself. (Hebrews 4:14-16) Jesus did not shy way from the pain of the cross, but embraced it, considering the joy to come, knowing that through His suffering we would be made free. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
The Christian life is a commitment.
Just as in marriage, if we enter into our relationship with Jesus carrying expectations of an easy, pain free life, we are going to grow disillusioned and feel cheated. But, if we rejoice in the fact that we can endure the trials of life together, gleaning strength from our union, then we will be able to endure with joy as Jesus did.
Moments after crossing over the waters that had claimed his children’s lives, Horatio Spafford penned these words:
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea-billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Tho’ Satan should buffet, tho’ trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed his own blood for my soul.
spaffordhymn.com
Spafford, like the Apostle Paul, had learned to be content in any state of wealth or loss God allowed for him. (Philippians 4:11)
Sorrows are inevitable.
Trials will come. They will roll over us like ocean waves, the undertow pulling us down into depression, allowing us to surface just long enough to catch a breath before crashing over us again. It is the curse of sin upon the earth that we must endure. Psalms 30:5 reminds us that “weeping may tarry for a night, but joy comes with the morning.”
Every midnight has its sunrise. Your determination to be true to Christ in the night will be a beacon to others, shining hope into their storms as well. Cling to Christ in the dark. He understands your grief and He weeps with you. Pray to the Holy Spirit who comforts you and to God the Father who loves you. You are not alone. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 21, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
Compartmentalization is not surrender. Shutting down pieces of your heart is not trust.
It’s easier that way. It’s easier to pretend you don’t really care, to act as if that thing can’t get to you or that person doesn’t turn your heart inside out. It’s easier to box up hope and wrap it in cynicism than to feel the hurt of unfulfilled dreams. The easy road is far more travelled, but God calls us to a different path.
On my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses—though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:5-10 ESV
BibleGateway.com
God calls us to surrender.
Three times the Apostle Paul pleaded with God. For three seasons of time he begged God to remove something that gave him pain and frustration. What was God’s response? No. his explanation: My strength is made perfect in your weakness.
We often sing songs like, “All to Jesus I Surrender” and “White Flag” as part of our worship, but surrender itself is not a Bible word. I did a search for the word “surrender” in Scripture and found it only a few times, all related to Israel’s military endeavors. Merriam-Webster defines surrender as:
Surrender
: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
: to give the control or use of (something) to someone else
: to allow something (such as a habit or desire) to influence or control you
“Surrender.” Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 21 June 2016.
Surrender sounds like giving up. It smells of defeat. I fought this war and lost so I surrender. But God has a different view. God sees strength in our weakness and possibility in our pain. When we surrender, when we turn to God instead of continuing to run from Him, God draws near to us, pouring healing over our open wounds.
Surrender > Self Defense
Self defense is taking those dreams of love, hope for a different future, or desire for a different outcome and hides them away. Self defense says if I don’t admit how important this is to me, then not having it won’t hurt so badly. Unfortunately, self defense keeps us from a full and healthy life. It keeps our wounds hidden from the Healer. Like a dark secret, self defense allows our wounds to fester and contaminate our lives.
God calls us to bring our desires to Him in prayer. He welcomes our broken hearts with open arms. Sometimes He chooses to grant our desires and sometimes He says no. But all of the time He gives us strength to face tomorrow.
Surrender isn’t the coward’s way out. It seems spiritual to muscle through, to keep fighting for what you believe in—to plan for all the variables and overcome all the odds. And sometimes it is. There is a time to fight the good fight of faith, and there is a time when it takes every ounce of faith you have to let go.
Surrender is the Christian’s source of strength.
Surrender is for the one unwilling to walk the Christian life alone. Surrender says, “this thing I crave, this person I long for, this outcome I desire—it’s yours, God. Nothing is more important to me than walking hand in hand with You.”
Self defense keeps God at arms length. Surrender invites Him into our pain, our hopes, and our dreams. Surrender holds up messy, raw, fragile hearts and calls the Great Physician to make them pure, whole, and stronger than ever before.
Come out from your hiding place. Open the compartments of your heart. Give your broken parts to Jesus. Let Him make all things new in His time. (Revelation 21:5)
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 14, 2016 | Random, The Spiritual Life
Handwritten letters are a special thing. In this age of instant communication, they hold even greater significance. As a writer, I always feel that I communicate best with pen and paper, but for the Apostle Paul, letters were the only way to communicate. A truth I am extremely grateful for. If he had Skyped the churches he ministered to or FaceTimed his friends, we wouldn’t have access to his spiritual inspiration today.
Paul’s letters to his young prodigy Timothy are especially tender and heartfelt. We can and do benefit from extracting the doctrine contained in the letters and applying it to our lives. This is not wrong. However, I feel we do the text and ourselves a disservice by not enjoying the missives as they were intended to be read—in respect to the one older, wiser man sharing his heart with one he thought of as a son.
Paul’s Pep Talk
The opening sections of the letter are especially poignant. Paul speaks of remembering Timothy’s tears, possibly at their last parting, and of longing to see Timothy again. After the opening greeting, Paul gets to the purpose of his letter, to encourage Timothy to continue to work out his purpose despite his fear. (11 Timothy 1:6-7)
You can understand Timothy’s concern. Paul is in jail because of his faith. Other Christians around him are being actively persecuted, and not just criticized on Facebook! They were imprisoned, beaten, dragged before crowds to be killed by wild beasts. It was not a pleasant time to be a preacher of the Gospel. Still, Paul encourages Timothy to be committed to his calling.
- 1:8 Share in the suffering for the Gospel; Rely on the power of God
- 1:13 Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching
- 1:14 Guard the good thing entrusted to you
- 2:1 Be strong in the grace of Christ Jesus
- 2:22 Flee from youthful passions; Pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace
- 2:23 Reject foolish disputes
- 2:24 Be gentle to everyone
And the list goes on.
Paul wrote from personal experience and God-given wisdom.
Paul knew how easy it would be for Timothy to give in to his fear so he wrote to help his friend fight through it. He knew Timothy would be tempted to choose the easier road of friendship and busy-ness so Paul addressed these temptations and reminded Timothy of the Gospel’s importance. Timothy’s high calling did not guarantee his success. He needed a friend to help him on his journey. The same goes for you and me.
In my ebook, The Wonder Women’s Manifesto, I talk about four typical manifestations of fear and the number one tool God has shown me for fighting it. In Forgetting the Fairy Tale, I talk about struggles women face as they search for their true love. Just as Paul wrote to Timothy in the hopes of encouraging him in his faith, so I write hoping to encourage and inspire others to develop a deep relationship with Jesus and fulfill His plan for their lives. I don’t mean to equate my writing with Scripture, but I do believe God has given me the task of using my words for His glory. I also believe God has given certain words to certain people to share with those in their own circles of influence, regardless of whether or not they ever write a book or blog post.
The power of pen and paper.
I believe in the power of a handwritten page. I believe Paul’s words inspired Timothy to continue in his faith, regardless of how feeble it felt at the time. I also believe that each of us have that same power within us. You might not be a writer, but you can send a thank you note to your parents, letting them know how much they mean to you. You can write a word of encouragement to the person in your church who is having a difficult time. You can even join the “more love letters” movement and write a love note to a perfect stranger. You never know how God might use your written words to impact another person.
You can be an inspiration.
I encourage you to dig out some stationery or steal some of your kids’ notebook paper, grab a pen or a crayon, and get your thoughts on paper. Do you find someone’s faithfulness inspiring? Tell them! Do you have a favorite childhood memory with your mom? Share it with her. Has your child been struggling with obedience? Tell them how special you think they are and see if your words don’t make a difference. The cannon of Scripture is closed, but inspiration is not dead. The Holy Spirit still inspires and motivates God’s children to write truth and encourage the body of Christ. Ask Him for direction and let Him guide your words.
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 9, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
Last Wednesday I passed a church sign that read, “Selah: Pause and Reflect.” I’ve been meditating on those four simple words ever since. Selah is a word found 74 time in Scripture—71 times in the Psalms and 3 times in Habakkuk chapter 3. Biblical scholars agree that it is a musical term, the majority believe it means to pause, rest, or silence as in a musical interlude (BlueLetterBible.com).
If you have read The Wonder Woman’s Manifesto, you know that the concept of Sabbath is something that God has been kneading into my heart for some time now. I immediately connected Selah to Sabbath—a time to pause and reflect on God and life, a time to renew and be refreshed.
God places great value on Selah.
We as busy, modern, overachievers bristle against the idea of pausing. Our calendars are filled to overflowing, and our churches are not exempt. Between Sunday and midweek services, visitation, youth events, mission trips, service projects, summer camps, and small group sessions, we barely have time to breathe. I say this not from a heart of judgment, but from sincere introspection as I am quite content to be juggling a half-dozen things at once myself.
Since moving back to Michigan, life has changed dramatically for me. I no longer rush from job to rehearsal to church to Infusion to homework to…you get the picture. I have entered a season of pause, an interlude. Oddly, instead of enjoying a slower pace, I often find myself struggling with my identity.
Who Am I?
Am I a writer? A housekeeper? A daughter? Can I put “daughter” on a bank account application? What do people think of me? Does it matter what they think? Does anything I do matter at all?
I understand now why losing a job or going into retirement can be difficult for people. It seems that we believe what we do is the equivalent of who we are. If we keep a clean house, have well behaved children, hold a respectable position at work, and have a growing number of attendees at our services then we are good mothers, parents, providers, and pastors. This is a lie.
What has God told me to be?
I wonder if all the rushing about is meant to silence these questions of our hearts? We wonder if we are making a difference and if God is pleased with our efforts. We try so hard to fulfill this image in our minds of who we are supposed to be and never pause to reflect on what God has told us to be.
Psalm 37:7
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
Creation gives us the example of God resting on the seventh day, the Ten Commandments instruct us to do the same, and Jesus, the One who had every right to rush about looking important, made it a priority to pull away from the crowds to rest and seek God’s face alone. The things we do for God are important, but enjoying God’s presence is more so.
What are my actions communicating?
If I had moved home to care for my father and continued a frenzied pace of activity, ignoring him and avoiding time with him, what would my actions be communicating? Without saying a word, I would be telling him that he wasn’t important, valued, respected, or loved as he ought to be. When we rush about doing for God instead of spending time being with Him, we communicate the very same things.
It is vital for the Christian to incorporate Selah into his or her life. Rest. Reflect. Trust that God means these times of interlude to propel you into more meaningful service. Your identity is not in your actions, but in your association. You are first and foremost a child of God. Rest in the riches of His love for you. Revel in the status He gives to you. Trust that He will help you fulfill His plan for your life in His timing. Selah: pause and reflect.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. How has rest and reflection made a difference in your life? Do you find it difficult to create breathing room in the calendar? How can you take steps to add time for God into your day?
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by Donya Dunlap | Jun 7, 2016 | The Spiritual Life
I used to call my mom almost every day. Not out of obligation, but because I truly enjoyed her. We would chat about the weather, what book she was reading, what project I was working on, and any other randomness that came to mind. I loved hearing her voice. I always knew that I might live alone, but no matter what happened, good or bad, she would be there to laugh or cry with me even though we were often nearly 700 miles apart.
This weekend I drove to North Carolina to help my sister with my niece’s graduation party. I so badly wanted to call my mom and tell her all about it. She would have laughed at the frosting fiasco. (Corn flour does not make a good substitute for powdered sugar in case you were wondering.) She would have been so pleased to know the scrapbook paper she gave to Brooke before she passed away was used for the decorations. After the party she would have played cards with my sister and I, joining us in eating too many leftover cupcakes and laughing until we couldn’t breathe.
Absent in body but not in spirit
During the party, I walked around the room snapping pictures of everything, my eyes welling with tears thinking about the gaping hole Mom left in our lives when she went to heaven. Late that night, my sister reminded me that Mom was there with us in spirit and in love. She was a part of the paper banners and the photo display. Her Bible was a focal point with Brooke’s favorite verse highlighted in yellow from a time when it spoke to Mom during her personal devotions. Mom was all around us even though we couldn’t feel her presence.
This has given me yet another new perspective on Hebrews 13:5. I’ve written on the passage before, but this weekend I noticed the correlation between my Mom’s passing and Jesus’ ascension. Even though Jesus no longer walks this earth, He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He is with us in the sunset and the rainbow, the opening flowers of spring and His written Word. His Holy Spirit hears our prayers, comforting us in our sorrow and giving us strength to face another day.
Lonely, but never alone
Someday I will see Jesus face to face. I will hug his neck and breathe in His scent just as I used to do every time I saw my Mom and exactly as I will again in heaven when I see her there. That will be a wonderfully joyful moment that I know I cannot fully understand while in this mortal condition. But today, I can rest in Jesus’ promise that He is with me. I can’t see Him, but He will never forsake me. At the moment of my salvation, I became His child. His DNA is part of my make up. His blood covered my sins and opened a channel of communication making it possible for Him to share in my joys and sympathize with my frustrations.
Brooke’s favorite verse is Zephaniah 3:17:
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.
This is the God we serve. A mighty God who is with us always. He saves us in our deepest need and rejoices with us at the top of His lungs. He is our security. He is our Savior. He is our companion in life, death, resurrection, and graduation parties. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to learn that He and my Mom watched the whole event together, recounting all of Brooke’s special milestones and talking about her future.
There have been many moments in the last weeks when I have felt lonely and wished I could talk to my mom. I have questions to ask and situations I would like her perspective on. I imagine she would answer as she often did, “Just pray about it. God will show you what to do.” She hasn’t been wrong yet with that advice.
I might feel lonely, but I am never alone. In fact, if I listen closely…I can hear Him singing.
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 3, 2016 | Book Reviews, The Spiritual Life
When I read the prologue to Bittersweet by Shauna Niequiest, I expected the following pages to unfold like many other Christian books I’ve read; Scripture verses sprinkled through the author’s tale of a difficult time in life during which she was able to cling to hope and somehow survive. What actually followed was nothing like I imagined.
The pages of Bittersweet are filled with snapshots—descriptions of Shauna’s life in moments of time. They are neither overly religious or lacking in faith. They are honest retellings of dinner parties, arguments, vacations, miscarriages, and family gatherings. Shauna speaks of hard times following personal loss and failure, moving houses, moving friends, changes in ministry, and rough spots in her marriage. But she also recalls breathtaking moments of laughter with those she loves, mouthwatering meals with descriptions that will inspire you to makeover your refrigerator every time, and sailing under a canopy of stars.
At first I didn’t understand why my friend sent the book to me after the loss of my mother. There were no tips on how to survive a new life after death, or steps to outline dealing with waves of emotion that crash on your soul at inopportune times. But somewhere around the middle, I discovered the treasure that this book is.
Shauna gifts to her readers a fresh perspective. She models a less-than-perfect child of God catching life preservers God throws out at key points in the storm and clinging to them for survival. These sparks of love, good food, community, and forgiveness add sweetness to the daily that drags us down. She reminds the reader that both bitter and sweet are necessary ingredients to create a life that is rich, full of multifaceted flavor and grace.
Read it with a box of Kleenex.
Have you read Bittersweet? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Happy reading!
