by Donya Dunlap | Feb 12, 2013 | Bible Study, Forgetting the Fairy Tale, The Single Life, The Spiritual Life
From the earliest moments of our journey through life we are bombarded by the concept of the fairy tale. We are dressed in tiny little shirts proclaiming us to be “Daddy’s little princess” and read nighttime stories of bravery, heroism, and love from little hard-bound, picture books. As soon as we can toddle we are given tulle-enhanced dress-up gowns and jewel-encrusted play shoes, a sparkling tiara to hold back our hair and a fairy wand with which to command the bidding of our loyal subjects.
As we grow we read books and watch movies convincing us of the fairy tale romance we all must strive for to be happy. Commercials tell us that we need X product so we can be more beautiful, more successful, more desirable. Magazines hold up airbrushed beauties in the highest esteem. Tabloids tear down anyone with a hint of imperfection, real or perceived.
At every turn, we are receiving messages that are trying to convince us that we can never be happy, satisfied, successful or fulfilled unless we chase the fairy tale life. The problem, however, lies in the very definition of “fairy tale.”
Defining a fairy tale
According to Merriam-Webster.com, a fairy tale’s definition is:
1a: a story (as for children) involving fantastic forces and beings (as fairies, wizards, and goblins) —called also fairy story
1b: a story in which improbable events lead to a happy ending
2: a made-up story usually designed to mislead
The synonyms also share some enlightening information with us.
Synonyms: fable, fabrication, lie, falsehood, falsity, fib, mendacity, prevarication, story, tale, taradiddle, untruth, whopper
By its definition, a fairy tale is a lie. In the context of spiritual things, any belief opposite of truth comes directly from the Father of Lies. Watching or reading a fairy tale is a fine choice of entertainment, but living a fairy tale is a dangerous road leading to destruction.
Music, movies, magazines—media feeds us the myth that happiness is just out of our reach. But the truth is, we can find our “happily ever after” if we center our lives on our one true love, Jesus Christ.
Why Forgetting the Fairy Tale?
People have asked me why I decided to write Forgetting the Fairy Tale. My answer is simple. I couldn’t NOT write it. God wouldn’t let me get away from this message.
I had to do what I could to stop the flood of fairy tale casualties.
Everywhere I turned I saw people believing the lies of Satan. Every time I witnessed a young girl choose Satan’s lies over Jesus’ love, my heart would break. Every time I witnessed a marriage fall apart I mourned.
Have you found yourself believing true happiness can be found outside of an intimate relationship with Jesus? If so, I encourage you to read Forgetting the Fairy Tale and its Companion Guide. The truths of Scripture contained in these books are sure to speak to your heart and open your mind to what it means to have Jesus be your everything.
Forgetting the Fairy Tale and the Forgetting the Fairy Tale Companion Guide are both available on Amazon. To read reviews and endorsements of the book, click here.
by Donya Dunlap | Jan 18, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
The most intimidating place for a writer to be is in front of a blank computer screen or empty sheet of paper. Inevitably one of two things happens. Either your mind races with ideas and you can’t seem to narrow them down enough to write, or (the more likely scenario) your thoughts mirror the emptyness in front of you. The blank slate can be terrifying both in writing and in life. We are all at the beginning of a new year full of possiblities. Our minds race with dreams and goals, but how do we begin? Where should we focus first? What if we fail at our resolutions again? Is goal setting even necessary? Is it better not to try at all?
Um…
I understand well the fear that accompanies a new beginning. 2013 for me is the beginning of a new year in a new city, a new church, a new ministry, (hopefully) a new job, new friends, a new home, and the release of a new book. It’s exciting, but with each new thing comes a mountain of doubt. What if I fail? What if I can’t find a job? What if my book release is a flop?
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
So how do you and I overcome the blank slate so we can begin chasing our dreams?
We begin by beginning.
Pastor Mark Baterson says in his book, The Circle Maker, (read my review of the book here) that the keys to seeing prayers answered and dreams come true is to “dream big, pray hard and think long.” He calls goals “dreams with deadlines” and recommends…
Ten Steps to Setting Goals for Your Life:
- Start with prayer. “If you set goals in the context of prayer, there is a much higher likelihood that your goals will glorify God, and if they don’t glorify God, then they aren’t worth setting in the first place.”
- Check your motives. “If you set selfish goals, you would be better off spiritually if you didn’t accomplish them.”
- Think in categories. “My goals are divided into five categories: family, influential, experiential, physical and travel. The obvious omission is a category for spiritual goals, but that is by intention. All of my goals have a spiritual dimension to them.”
- Be specific. “If a goal isn’t measurable, we have no way of knowing whether we’ve accomplished it.”
- Write it down. “If you haven’t written down your goals, you haven’t really set them.”
- Include others. “Nothing cements a relationship like a shared goal.”
- Celebrate along the way. “When God answers a prayer, throw a party. We should celebrate with the same intensity with which we pray.”
- Dream big. “Big goals turn us into big people.”
- Think long. “If you want to dream until the day you die, you need to set goals that take a lifetime to achieve. And it’s never too late to start.”
- Pray hard. “Goal setting begins and ends with prayer.”
He sums up his list with these two powerful paragraphs:
The sad truth is that most people spend more time planning their summer vacation than they do planning the rest of their life. That’s poor stewardship of right-brain imagination. Goal setting is good stewardship. Instead of letting things happen, goals help us make things happen. Instead of living by default goals help us live by design. Instead of living out of memory, goals help us live out of imagination.
Goal setting begins and ends with prayer. God-ordained goals are conceived in the context of prayer, and prayer is what brings them to full term. You need to keep circling your goals in prayer, like the Israelites circled Jericho. As you circle your goals, it not only creates God-ordained opportunities; it also helps us recognize God-ordained opportunities.
So as we finish up the first month of the year, I challenge you to dedicate your blank slate to Christ and His purposes for your life and then plan accordingly. Let’s determine to live for Christ out of our imaginations and accomplish great things for His glory in 2013!
Have you made a list of life goals? How has goal setting been beneficial to you? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below.
Photo credit: Carlos Fenollosa / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
![Taking Back Our Minds [guest post by Sundi Jo Graham]](https://i0.wp.com/www.donyadunlap.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/believe_BLOG.png?resize=435%2C235&ssl=1)
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 15, 2012 | Guest Posts, The Spiritual Life
You’re a failure.
You’re not good enough.
You’ll never amount to anything.
You have to be perfect.
You have to look perfect.
Any of these hitting home with you?
Photo credit: spike55151 / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
Are there other lies you’ve believed about yourself, whether they’ve been words spoken to you, or something you’ve come up with yourself? I encourage you to write them down.
As an eight-year old, I specifically remember lies being spoken to me by my third grade teacher. I took them as truth and over the years, those lies were rooted deep within me. I still find myself sometimes having to remember what the truth is.
I have struggled with my weight all my life. Because I was a larger kid, I was an easy target for the wrath of my teacher. She would often make me skip lunch, telling me how fat I was. Not only that, but there were times she would make me run laps around the playground while she shouted obscene words at me. I have to wonder today what was in her heart at that time and pray that God has set her free from the lies she believed.
I believed the lie that I would always be fat. So, what did I do? Ate my feelings away. I protected myself from others by using my weight. I was held in the trap of obesity. I desperately wanted to lose weight and have a life, but I was too scared to allow others to get close to me. The more I believed lies about who I was, the more I turned to cheeseburgers, pizza, and Mountain Dew for comfort.
Until…
I finally stopped believing the lies. I was done letting the words of others and the lies I believed control me. I lost 145 lbs. and replaced that unwanted baggage with truth.
We have to stop letting others control us. We have to take back our minds.
If you’re reading this post today and find yourself in a similair struggle, I want you to picture me sitting across from you, holding your hands, and speaking this truth to you.
You can take back your mind. You don’t have to be perfect. You are not a failure. You are loved. And this I promise you – there is hope.
In what areas are you struggling to take back your mind today?
Sundi Jo
This guest post was written by my friend Sundi Jo Graham. If it was a blessing to you, I encourage you to leave a comment for her below.
Sundi Jo is a writer, speaker, and small business owner, making her home in Branson, Missouri. She is the author of Liar Liar, a manifesto that will challenge you, change your heart, and lead you in the right direction to believe the truth about your true identity. You’ll find her engulfed in the social media world, spending time with friends and family, hanging out in a pair of jeans and flip-flops, or writing. Find Sundi Jo on Facebook or Twitter(@sundijo).
by Donya Dunlap | Oct 28, 2012 | Guest Posts, The Spiritual Life
Several weeks ago I had the privilege of guest posting on the blog of the amazing Joseph Iregbu (To read that post click here.) Today I am privileged to have him sharing with us here. He has been an encouragement to me since meeting him through the book release team for Wrecked by Jeff Goins, and I know he will be an encouragement to you too.
Writer Joseph Iregbu
The Bible is full of extraordinary accounts of grace
like Ruth, Paul, Zacchaeus, Peter, Rahab and many more. What God did in their lives can often be described as:
Unfathomable
Unimaginable
Unthinkable
‘Absurd’
It’s a God Thing
But isn’t that what makes it a God thing?
Isn’t that what makes us a wonder to ourselves?
“A Holy God interested in the lives of unholy mortals, seeking to draw them to Himself, seeking to sanctify, purify and shape them…”
Grace is stupendous by nature. Whether we can fully understand it in this life, I couldn’t tell. And seriously I don’t want to – there’s eternity ahead to do just that. In the meantime, we should stand in awe.
Consider Rahab
Consider Rahab in Hebrews 11:31. Her story should continue to marvel us. There are some words you don’t naturally expect to see in the Bible, harlot being one of them. But Rahab would later be mentioned in the lineage of Christ. ‘Absurd’ grace!
This is good news for us. We are grace misfits in every possible way, naturally alienated from God but bought by the blood of Christ. This is beyond human wisdom but it’s good news. And good news are to be spread, shared and proclaimed.
Hope, Courage and Strength
Draw hope from the fact that God is the One that makes us ‘good enough’.
Draw courage from the fact that, being justified by faith, we have peace with God.
Draw strength from the fact that it’s not about your past record of shame and sins, but forgiveness by the One who shed His blood for you.
And if you haven’t experienced this wonder, I urge you to come in by faith. Come in and dine on this ‘absurd’ grace.
Do you remember when you first experienced God’s stupendous, ‘absurd’ grace? We would love to hear your story in the comments below!
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About Joseph
Joseph Iregbu leads on purpose and is passionate about raising the next generation of leaders. He blogs at http://josephiregbu.com and is a Coach and Mentor to young leaders. He is the author of a book (Even in the Well), husband of one wife and father to a gorgeous daughter. He lives in Germany. Connect with him on Twitter , Facebook and read about his Story of Hope that has inspired many to live bold.
by Donya Dunlap | Oct 25, 2012 | Art and Design, How Great is Our God, The Spiritual Life
As a beginning designer I knew very little about what artists call The Creative Process. When working on a logo, I might sketch out a few ideas, but then I would jump right into my design software and work on flushing out a solution. I skipped several important steps.
Before you can adequately summarize an organization, a person, a product or group into a symbolic representation, research must be done. You need to learn all the various aspects of the its goals, its personality, its people, its mission and more before you will know how to begin a design.
From there you need to brainstorm. Taking into account all the various things you learned in your research, you then begin to consider images that symbolize those concepts and how they relate to each other. You have to consider color and the color meaning, single shapes, complex shapes, and styles. You have to try out a multitude of ideas and from there refine and refine and refine until you arrive at a completed image that adequately represents everything your client is trying to communicate to their audience.
There is a similar creative process that happens in our relationship with God.
Often we are saved and become comfortable at a church then jump right into super-Christian mode and try to serve the Savior without really knowing Him. We skip the learning and meditating parts of getting to know God and try to make Him happy with us based on our performance.
This kind of mentality hurts us and our “audience” in several ways.
- We never know what it is like to have a true, deep, meaningful relationship with God
- We lack an understanding of who God is and how He views us as His children
- We are continually frustrated with our shortcomings, and translate that into a belief that God must not be pleased with us either
- We misrepresent God to others by not walking in the Spirit and therefore causing unsaved people to think that Christians aren’t any better than the world which also effects their view of God
I wrote of this in my soon to be released book, Forgetting the Fairy Tale:
We blissfully enjoy all of God’s blessing until He takes away a relationship, or allows us to have a terminal illness, or doesn’t allow us to get married, or anything else contrary to our picture perfect Christian lives, and then we turn our backs on Him. Why? Not because He doesn’t love us anymore, but because we really never loved Him. We never got to know Him. So when He does something that doesn’t match our image of Him we get angry… We become bitter.
God is so far above us and His ways are so much higher than our ways. We will never be able to truly know Him in all of His complexity because we are human and He is divine. But we can continually grown in knowledge of His person and His grace if we “do our homework” so to speak. If we stop the continual motion of our lives and simply sit at His feet, read His Word and listen for His voice, He will reveal Himself to us.
James 4:8 tells us to “draw night to God, and He will draw nigh to you.”
The reason that we struggle so much with what God does is that we don’t know who God is. We need to pause, rewind, and court our Savior. Just like any human relationship, understanding and love takes time.
I encourage you to pull out some paper and colored pens and hang out with Him for a while. Write out His characteristics and what they mean to you. Look up verses that talk about His majesty. Read through the Gospels and write down observations of Jesus’ character and personality that stand out to you. Draw picture graphs outlining truths of who God says He is and who He says we are in Him. Get creative!
What can you do today to get creative with your relationship with God? I’d love for you to share your ideas in the comments below.
by Donya Dunlap | Oct 11, 2012 | The Spiritual Life
Photo Credit: Jefferson Noguera
Let me guess, you’re not a “worrier” necessarily, but you’re a “planner.” Am I right?
How did I know? Because that’s what I say too. “Worrying” is wrong and there are a number of “fret not” verses in Scripture to remind us of this, but there’s nothing in there about “planning” is there? Or if it is, it’s a good thing, right? Jesus has gone to heaven to “prepare” a place for us, and that has to take some planning. Are you with me?
So you whip out your calendar, your day-planner, your iCal, your Evernote lists and you “plan” for the worst and hope for the best. You think of every possible scenario and what you would do about it if it happens. How are you going to pay for it? How are you going to pack for it? What are you going to do if this-and-such happens?
I’m a planner and I have to say that being organized and thinking ahead are good things. They really are. The trouble comes in when we substitute our preparedness for worry.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:34 to,
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
This doesn’t mean that we are supposed to live life flying by the seat of our pants. (Which is a really odd expression by the way. How does one fly by the seat of his pants exactly? Anyway…) What Jesus is saying is that we aren’t supposed to worry about things in the future, but trust Him to take care of them. The verse before this one gives us a very important caveat.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
If we are “planning” our schedules, our budgets, and our futures without any concern for what God would have us do, what would best benefit His kingdom, what will bring Him the most glory, and what will help to advance His gospel, then we are in a heap of trouble.
We can’t just cross our fingers and hope for the best and pay God no attention. We must seek first His kingdom and His righteousness AND THEN all these things shall be added unto us. (All these things referring to verse 31 in which it lists worrying about what we will eat, drink and wear, NOT “all these things” meaning the fabulous new pair of stilettos you just found at T.J. Maxx.)
Psalm 147:11 tells us that,
The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
He takes pleasure in those that choose not to worry about what might happen. He takes pleasure in those that look to Him to be with them no matter what comes because they know that He is a good and merciful God that has our best in mind. Just like the picture above, sometimes we only see part of the whole. But God sees the end from the beginning and everything in between. Even the things that don’t look good to us now, He has promised will work out in the end. Trust Him to take care of both the every day and the “ever after” and you can enjoy a life of peace, even in times of uncertainty.
Do you sometimes have a hard time believing in your heart of hearts that God has good planned for you? What character of God or verse of Scripture helps you to remember that God is worthy of our trust? Please click comment to share your thoughts.
Are you on Pinterest? Follow me and the Forgetting the Fairy Tale board to pin the quote above and other quotes from the book for your encouragement.
