by donyadunlap | Aug 9, 2012 | The Spiritual Life
I’m addicted to check marks. At any given time I have multiple to-do lists running through my mind or jotted in my planner. Currently I have my work list, my once I get home list, my before school starts back up list, my blog list, my things around the house list, and my shopping list. It gives me great pleasure to place a big, fat check mark next to one of the items on that list. In fact, I sometimes write down things I’ve already accomplished just so I can mark them off! (Am I the only one that does that? Tell the truth…)
Lists are good and they can help us accomplish a lot of things, but they have a downside. They can help us with things we need to do, but they fall short in helping us with things we need to be.
This morning I received a fact check before I even got out of bed. I read a message from a friend that mentioned how she had noticed that I had changed recently. At first I was excited to hear that someone had noticed what God had been doing in me and I started to give myself a big, congratulatory, pat on the back for the progress I have made, (ridiculous, I know) but then God threw reality in my face. I felt Him ask me, “How are you really doing, Donya? You have changed, yes, but are you as close to Me as you should be?”
FACT CHECK.
OUCH.
This quiet question in the early morning pierced my pride and helped me to see what I was missing. I have been so busy checking off things on my list that I haven’t been giving as much attention to the most important thing—simply BEING with Christ. Not being busy serving Him or writing about Him or helping others draw closer to Him. Just being with Him. Sitting outside and looking at the stars He created and talking with Him. Sharing my dreams with Him.
Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t neglected Him altogether. I’ve still been doing many of the things that we say are good to do as part of our relationship with Him, but it has been lacking some of the intimacy that has been there in recent days. His gentle reminder was just the nudge I needed to make sure to set aside my lists for a time today and just hang out with Jesus for a little while.
Are you a list addict like me? What do you do to break away from the to-do and give yourself time to just be? I’d love for you to share in the comments below.
Photo Credit: Mateusz Stachowski www.sxc.hu
by donyadunlap | Aug 4, 2012 | Making a Difference, Modern Day Slavery, The Spiritual Life
Everyone is afraid of something—and not usually just one something, but a lot of somethings. The list of common phobias is extensive.
Attribution: KickAss Pics (Forgive the name please. I didn’t choose it!)
Reactions to fear
Avoidance
Fear can be paralyzing or motivating depending on how you handle it. Personally, I am afraid of spiders. I don’t care if they aren’t poisonous, there is something just inherently evil about something with that many legs creeping about my house. My common reaction to spiders is avoidance and delegation. In college, my friend Naomi was my designated spider killer (and I kept her quite busy). After college, my roommate and I had a deal. She killed the eight legged creatures and I disposed of the lesser legged intruders. It was a great partnership.
Procrastination
There is also a great deal of fear wrapped up in my writing. This manifests as procrastination. What if I say the wrong thing? What if someone disagrees with me? Will people expect me to have all of my life together and be disappointed when they find out I have a basketful of faults that I struggle with every day? If I let it, these fears will keep me from writing. They cause me to delay posts my heart is begging me to share and they turn every chapter that I write for publishing into a spiritual battleground.
Motivation
My greatest and most personal fear is personal harm. I believe a lot of people share this fear or something like it and that it is paralyzing us in our efforts to reach the needy of this world with the power of Christ. However, I believe that my fear of being raped is part of what motivates me to fight on behalf of the thousands of women and children that face that reality every day in the multi-billion dollar sex industry. The Lord has given me an enormous burden and passion to help these souls, in part, because I am so afraid of becoming a victim myself.
Control
When Jesus visited the Gadarenes in Mark chapter 5, he had just performed an amazing miracle. He had cast out a legion of demons from a man that had been so tormented by them that he was forever crying out and cutting himself. Any attempt to restrain him had failed. So the people of the town avoided him as he roamed the graveyard and mountains near the city. Jesus came along and had compassion on the man. He cast out the demons who then entered a herd of pigs causing them to run into the sea to their deaths.
You would expect the people to be angry at their loss of livestock and income at such a turn of events, but that isn’t what the Bible says happened. It says that when the witnesses to what happened told the other townspeople, they were afraid and begged Jesus to leave their region. I’ve always wondered at that. It would seem that if they weren’t angry at him for the loss of the pigs that they would be grateful that a legion of demons had been sent away from this neighbor of theirs, and by nature of his proximity to their families and homes, had been afflicting them as well. But instead of offering their thanks and praise, they ran Jesus out of town.
Results of letting fear rule
Recently have I started to see this story in a new light. I realized people are afraid of what they can’t control and what they don’t understand. Things like homelessness, human trafficking, divorcees, single moms, low income families. These problems don’t have easy answers. Dealing with people in difficult circumstances can be draining, costly and even dangerous. So instead of showing them the love of Jesus and letting loose the power of the Holy Spirit in our hearts as we minister to them, we turn away, avert our eyes, come up with excuses not to help, turn the channel on the news broadcast, or even blame them for being in such a mess. We do what the people of the Gadarenes did—we ask Jesus to leave us alone.
What are you afraid of?
So I wonder—what are you afraid of? What is it that you feel motivated by the Holy Spirit to do, but that you aren’t sure what might happen if you try? Is there something you’ve always wanted to attempt, but never felt like you were qualified or the time was right? Jesus wants to do amazing things through us to change our lives and those in our communities. We have to let Him work through our fear. We have to invite Him into the mess and let His Spirit cast out the inner demons keeping us trapped in complacency.
Face your fears with Jesus
Let Jesus bring life and healing into your fears. Can you imagine what other miracles the people of that town missed out on because they were afraid? Don’t be like them. Face your fears and let Jesus have His way with them.
by donyadunlap | Jul 24, 2012 | Guest Posts, The Spiritual Life
This is a guest post by author and speaker, Sundi Jo Graham. I’m so thankful that she agreed to share her heart today as a powerful testimony of a single girl that loves her Savior and has learned to let Him love her in return.
I’m pathetic. I’m a loser. I’m completely unlovable. No one will ever love me. I’m ugly. I’m stupid.
I heard these words most of my life. Who said them? Me. I believed they were true and my actions showed just how much I believed them. When others would say kind things to me, I’d roll my eyes, pop off some kind of snarky comment, and walk away. Who were they to lie to me? I could handle that myself.
Three years ago my life was wrecked. God took my negative ship, threw the captain overboard, and there I sat on the deserted island of what I would soon come to know as truth. It was a messy shipwreck.
I remember lying in the floor one afternoon at the Table Rock Freedom Center, sobbing my eyes out. “Why am I here God? What do you want from me?” I’ll never forget that day as I long as I live. God didn’t come down in the form of a pancake. I didn’t hear his audible voice. But I heard Him clear as day ask me, “Sundi Jo, when are you going to let me love you?”
I had no idea. Through that time He showed me that if I don’t allow others to love me, then it’s impossible to let God love me.
I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my swollen eyes, blew my nose and walked out of the room bound and determined to let Him love me. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I was going to let it happen. Slowly but surely I allowed God to love me through others.
Someone would compliment my weight loss and though it took everything in me, I would smile, do my best to make eye contact, and say thank you. Others would tell me I was beautiful and through clinched fists and gritted teeth, I made myself receive the compliment. It got easier with time.
I began to speak Scripture out loud, even looking in the mirror at times. Yes, I felt like a goof, but I was willing to do what I needed to do to believe the truth about who I was in Christ. I’d remind myself on a daily basis that I am God’s princess. I am His friend. I am not condemned. I am the bride of Christ. The King is enthralled with my beauty.
Some studies show that it takes 21 days of repeated patterns to make a habit stick. I don’t know how many days it took me, but I do know it took a dozen times throughout the day of me repeating these things to myself before the truth finally started to sink in.
I’m so thankful for God wrecking me. I’m thankful for His patience and willingness to love me through the mess. I don’t always get it right. There’s a situation in my life right now where I’m struggling to accept His love for me. But the important thing is, I’m doing it afraid, taking it one step at a time, and trusting that God’s hand is in it.
Can you name an area in your life you need to be wrecked?
Sundi Jo
Sundi Jo is an author, speaker, and small business owner, making her home in Branson, Missouri. She blogs at sundijo.com. Her first book, Dear Dad, Did You Know I Was a Princess?, comes out next year. You can read her free eBook, Becoming God’s Best now. You’ll find her engulfed in the social media world, spending time with friends and family, hanging out in a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and flip fops, or writing. Find Sundi Jo on Facebook or Twitter (@sundijo).
by donyadunlap | Jul 21, 2012 | Making a Difference, The Spiritual Life
I’m angry. In fact, I’ve been angry so much lately that I’m beginning to worry if I’m becoming one of those old, single, angry, cat ladies minus the cats. I have an almost constant knot in my stomach, I’m having a hard time sleeping and I’ve seriously considered quitting my job and living out of my car so that I can do something profitable with all of these emotions I’m experiencing. In a word, I’m a wreck.
Telly the Wrecked Tortoise
Why am I so angry, or more appropriately, “wrecked?” Glad you asked. I’m angry that children are being abused instead of being protected. I’m angry that women are being beaten by men that claim to love them. I’m angry that a person can take something meant for good and use it to terrorize a theatre full of people trying to enjoy time with their friends and family. I’m angry at people that prey on innocent girls and force them to do unspeakable things. I’m angry at the people that spend their money to view such things and even engage in such behavior. I’m angry at the rich that use their money to withhold from the poor and I’m angry at the poor that use their situations as an excuse to manipulate and injure others.
And on top of all of that I’m angry at myself for not doing more to stop it.
For years I turned away from things that upset me, made me sad, or just bad situations that I felt I couldn’t do anything to help. I shut out news feeds that told of crime and hate. I closed my eyes during parts of the movies that I didn’t want to see. I nervously glanced in the other direction when sitting at a stop light near a person in need. I pitied, I judged, I felt a twinge of guilt, but never did I pray for them, open my heart to them, or shed a tear of compassion.
Until one day…
One day I was reading in the Gospels and was convicted by my lack of compassion. Jesus wept for the lost and gave up everything to be near to the hurting. He healed the broken and outcast. He spent time with the social rejects and ate dinner with the blue-collar guys that were doing what they could to feed their families. I didn’t do any of that, but what’s worse is that I didn’t even want to.
By this time I had become so practiced in shutting out uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that I could sit through any missionary presentation without feeling a thing. I admired those that had a desire to leave the comforts of home and closeness to their families to go to the hurting and the lost, but I had no desire to do such a thing myself. Other than occasionally giving more than a tithe to a missions fund or special offering, I never did much of anything out of my comfort zone of ministering in my church or taking part in a local outreach.
But God changed all of that.
It began with a prayer. Nothing fancy. Just a quick request before going to bed that God would give me a heart of compassion. That He would give me eyes to see the hurting as He sees them. That I would be moved by the things that move His heart.
Without even realizing what was happening, God began to answer that prayer. I see things differently now. A prostitute is no longer someone that has no morals, but a woman being forced to walk a road of sin that she never intended to travel and has no idea how to escape from even if she had the means and opportunity to try. A rebellious child in foster care is no longer just a brat in need of discipline, but a soul in need of love and care and protection. The missing posters at Walmart are no longer nameless ghosts of faces that I hurry past without a thought. They are children who, in many cases, are being pimped and beaten for the profit of one that specializes in wielding power over the weak.
Jeff Goins calls this change of heart that I have experienced being “wrecked.” I didn’t even realize the full extent of what had happened to me until I read his book this week and discovered that not only is being “wrecked” a really good thing, but that it is very much a God thing. It is something that needs to happen to a person before they can really be used by God for their full potential. The frustration, passion, anger, sorrow in the pit of my stomach and desire to do something, anything, and everything that God asks of me is exactly where I need to be right now. It is a process that God is working in my heart so that when the time is right and He is ready to ask me to make a difference in the life of someone in a situation totally foreign to me that I am ready to answer His call instead of looking the other way and pretending I didn’t hear Him.
I can’t say that this journey has been fun and I’m not entirely sure where this discomfort is going to lead me, but I wouldn’t turn back from this new direction if you paid me to. Even though it has been painful and caused me to lose more than one or two nights of sleep, I’m so thankful that God is changing my heart.
If you are like I was—wondering what your purpose in life is supposed to be, wondering why you seem empty of emotion, or simply looking to find meaning out of life and a way to make a difference— I encourage you to pick up a copy of Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into your Comfortable Life by Jeff Goins. It beautifully articulates how God has “wrecked” my life, Jeff’s life and the lives of countless others for a greater purpose. God’s purpose. God can use us to make a difference in this world, to shine a light in this dark place. It might be uncomfortable, but as Jeff says,
Ask people who have radically changed their lives, and they’ll tell you the best decisions they made were when they were uncomfortable.
Wrecked by Jeff Goins
by donyadunlap | Jun 25, 2012 | The Spiritual Life
“Masquerade! Paper faces on parade . . .Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!”
Perhaps not one of the most well-known songs from the Phantom of the Opera, but when someone brings up this musical favorite of mine, “Masquerade” is invariably the first song to come to my mind. The artist in me loves the swirling colors of the costumes and masks in the scene, the musician in me loves the energy and spirit of the song, but the writer in me is rather fascinated by the underlying message of the lyrics.
It seems as though society encourages, and almost demands, that we all wear a mask to hide our true selves.
“How are you?” “Fine. Thank you. And you? I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
As my grandmother would say, “Hogwash!” On many days, that reply is nothing more than a polite lie.
Recently a friend shared that there was no one in her church that she could be real with and pour her heart out to without being judged, or without that person turning around and sharing her secret feelings with anyone that would listen. What a shame! Sometimes things are just too personal to share, but I have to wonder…
How many people would be willing to share if they knew that there was someone that could be trusted to help them, pray with them, or just listen to them in confidence?
It has been said that church is for sinners, but do we church-going people really believe that? We modern American churches have dressed ourselves up in our Sunday dresses and our suits and ties, painted our faces with our Sunday-go-to-meeting masks and convinced ourselves that we are better than those around us. Shame on us!
1 Peter 5:5 says,
All of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Rather than walking around with our Christian facades firmly in place, we are to be clothed with humility.
We are to submit ourselves to each other, just as Christ showed us by example when He washed the disciples feet.
Only one time in my life have I witnessed a pastor not only preach on this passage, but physically demonstrate it by choosing a complete stranger from the crowd and kneeling before him with a towel and a basin of water, remove the strangers shoes and wash his feet while speaking over him the love of Christ. It was a powerful moment and many eyes in the room that day were moist with tears of understanding how Christ truly loves and serves us despite of our sinfulness.
I can’t imagine humbling myself enough to bow before a person that I loved, much less a total stranger, and take their foot in my hand to cleanse it. But that is exactly what Christ has called us to do. He wants each of us to submit ourselves to each other, and in humility realize that unlike Christ, we are no better than the person before standing before us.
The second part of that verse is equally as powerful as the first, if not more so. God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. According to the Bible Knowledge Commentary, that word “resist” is incredibly sobering. It means He “sets Himself against” those that are proud. He wants nothing to do with our pious, church facades. God gives grace to the humble.
Those that are willing to look at someone of a different social class or education status or religion right in the eyes, take them by the hand and show them the love of Christ receive a “well done” from our Lord. Maybe they aren’t dressed very nice, maybe they don’t smell that good and maybe they just got out of jail…these are the ones Christ walked with day by day as He ministered on this earth. What makes us any better than Him?
When you pass someone in the hall that has an obvious look of pain or grief on their face, do you stop and talk to them? Do you even notice them? Jesus left the comforts of Heaven to spend 33 years on this sin-ridden planet to get torn to shreds and nailed on a cross for us. The least we can do is show a little of that love to one of His beloved. Don’t you agree?
I’m preaching to myself as much as to any of you that are gracious enough to read my spoutings. My favorite excuse is “I don’t know what to say.” I am the queen of awkward social moments. Truly. But my introverted awkwardness is not an excuse to look the other way when someone is in need. To do that is to invite the wrath of God upon my life, and that terrifies me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. – Matthew 25:37-40
This was personal to Jesus and it should be personal to us too. What one thing can you do today or this week to extend Christ’s love to someone in need?
Photo Credit: Venetian Mask photo taken by Sorina Bindea, Romania
Masquerade lyrics source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/p/thephantomoftheoperalyrics/masqueradelyrics.html
by donyadunlap | Jun 22, 2012 | Making a Difference, Modern Day Slavery, The Spiritual Life
I am a closet super hero. And by that I don’t mean that I have a cape, a belt full of super-secret weapons, and a bat cave. Bats are cute and all, but I’m not all that excited about the idea of shacking up with them. Nor am I a fan of tights.
Photo Credit: GregW (creative commons – http://www.flickr.com/people/gregw)
What I mean is that by day I am a church secretary and by night I work towards and dream about being the kind of person that helps people change their lives and connect with God. My secret identity involves writing best-selling books, speaking at women’s conferences, helping single women find love and security in Jesus, and helping sex trafficking victims escape the life and build a new one in the freedom and safety of God’s grace. I want so badly to make a difference in this evil world and to bring God glory by my actions. But like the dashing Clark Kent, I spend the majority of my time “pushing paper.” Not that church bulletins and prayer sheets aren’t important, but they aren’t the things that get my heart racing and my mind spinning with possibilities. Those things are tucked safely in the depths of my heart and soul. The thing is…it’s getting stuffy in there.
Dreams are scary things. I’m not talking about the pizza induced nightmares that wake you up at 4am. I’m talking about the passion that rattles around in your chest and makes it hard for you to breathe sometimes. When God starts to shake you out of your comfort zone and stir up a passion in your heart for His glory it can be terrifying. It is for me. When I think of what I envision for my future, my insecurities and fears come at me like a tidal wave. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if no one buys my book? What if I try to help someone and I say the wrong thing? Where will I get the money I need? What if I can’t get these ideas off the ground? What if no one supports this? When will I have the time to do everything that needs to be done? Why would anyone want to listen to what I have to say? What if, what if, what if?
These are the thoughts that make me want to hide in my closet and never come out. The best way to ensure that you won’t fail is not to try, right? But then I remember 1 Thessalonians 5:24. I can’t help but remember it because I have it written on a sticky note on the bottom of my computer screen.
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
Just like Moses and David and Peter and everyone else in the Bible that God used to do great things, my dreams have very little to do with me. God placed them into my heart, God stirs them up when I try to hide from them, God gives me the courage to pray about them and God will bring them about in His way and in His time. All I have to do is baby-step-it in the right direction. Sometimes that looks like a desperate prayer for wisdom and direction. Sometimes that looks like an email seeking information. Sometimes it looks like late-night research. Sometimes it looks like getting up, going to work and doing what God has given me to do for that day.
Maybe someday I will find myself on a stage in front of 2,000 single ladies or hugging the shoulders of a women that I’ve helped get out from under the control of her pimp…but today is not that day. Today I have to do my best where God has me and take whatever baby step He prompts my heart to take.
Sometimes just doing the everyday stuff is overwhelming. When you wake up with this giant, chest-pounding, adrenaline pumping vision in your mind and you have to set that aside to work on a spreadsheet and answer a phone you can get pretty discouraged. The Enemy knows that and uses it against me to get me to believe that I’m never going to be “successful,” I’m never going to make a difference and my dreams are never going to happen. But then the Holy Spirit whispers into my soul the truth of 1 Thessalonians 5:24. It isn’t up to me. It’s up to God.
Several weeks ago author Jon Acuff wrote a statement that has found its home on a sticky note adjacent to the one I mentioned previously. It says,
“The success of God’s plans are not dependent on my ability to execute them. He will not be handcuffed by my failures or unleashed by my accomplishments. He is bigger than that.”
That statement was such an encouragement to me. God is bigger than my to-do list. God is bigger than my shortcomings. God is bigger than my fears. And whether or not all the visions of my heart come true, He will still be glorified as long as I remain obedient to Him in the little things.
Do you have a passion stirring in your heart? Do you have a special quote or verse that gets you through your doubt-filled days? I’d love to hear from you!
