by Donya Dunlap | Aug 11, 2018 | Making a Difference, The Spiritual Life
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I wish you could see what I see.
A mom soldiering through unbelievable heartache, raising her children with grace and courage and a substantial dose of quirky humor to color life bright. While her husband is lauded as the conquerer, she remains invisible. The very bones and sinew holding it all together.
I wish you could see what I see.
A wife battling in prayer for the wounded, the wandering, the blind, and the hurtful. She keeps on loving and clinging and fighting though her very heart would lie in a thousand pieces if not physically contained within her chest by the hand of a Holy Comforter.
I wish you could see what I see.
A daughter clinging to life and wholeness when everything within her screams to just let go. Every day facing the demons, the memories, the choking fears and immobilizing pain. Every minute choosing to keep breathing, keep believing that God has a plan. That He hears. That He heals.
I wish you could see what I see.
Warriors. Defenders. Heroes.
Women who refuse to let evil win and cynicism reign. Women who choose life and love. Women who stand strong though feeling oh so weak. Women who labor in their grief, their silence, their suffocating isolation.
These are the mighty ones. Women of faith. Women of courage. Women I am honored to call friends.
David had friends like these. One named Shammah stood alone when all others ran from the fight. He stood tall and brave, planting his feet in a field none would say was worth fighting for. A plot of lentils. Not gold or diamonds, presidential or palatial. A simple square of earth. Dust and beans. A memorial to character, determination, and grit.
Like Shammah, there are those fighting day in and day out in their God-ordained battles. Do you see them?
These women wipe sleep from dark circles and glare at the Enemy. These Daughters of the King know they are covered before and behind in Holy Spirit armor and wisdom. They know nothing can come against them that their Heavenly Daddy and a little waterproof mascara can’t overcome.
They don’t feel as brave as these words make them sound. They feel small and afraid. Lonely. Tired. Trampled. But they don’t see what I see.
I wish they could.
I wish you would.
And if you do…maybe hold a mirror for the warrior princess you’re blessed to know. The one that inspires you to keep on keeping on because if they can you can too. She might not see today what you can see. And what are girlfriends for if not to check for green in pearly whites, background scope the new guys, and send Starbucks gift cards when arms are too short to give hugs?
These are the names of the mighty men whom David had: Josheb-basshebeth a Tahchemonite; he was chief of the three. He wielded his spear against eight hundred whom he killed at one time. And next to him among the three mighty men was Eleazar the son of Dodo, son of Ahohi. He was with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel withdrew. He rose and struck down the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clung to the sword. And the Lord brought about a great victory that day, and the men returned after him only to strip the slain. And next to him was Shammah, the son of Agee the Hararite. The Philistines gathered together at Lehi, where there was a plot of ground full of lentils, and the men fled from the Philistines. But he took his stand in the midst of the plot and defended it and struck down the Philistines, and the Lord worked a great victory. – 2 Samuel 23:8-12 ESV
by Donya Dunlap | Jan 26, 2018 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
During a recent church service, the pastor read Romans 12:1-2. It’s a common passage. I’ve likely read it hundreds if not thousands of times in my lifetime. I’ve heard it discussed in dozens of sermons. But never before have I seen the secret to being my authentic, true self in these verses as I did this week.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service*. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – Romans 12:1-2 KVJ
*ESV reads “spiritual worship”
If you’re like me and you read this with your “good girl” lenses on, you see this as something to be done. It’s a natural conclusion given the action words used. Present. Service. Conformed. Transformed. Renewing.
It’s likely this is how it was taught to you too. You need to do right and be right so God will find you acceptable. It wasn’t until this week I realized this interpretation is all wrong!
A Living Sacrifice
Before you send me a nasty email, let me explain. As with all things, the best way to interpret Scripture is through Scripture. So let’s consider what it means to be a living sacrifice.
Many believe the first sacrifice for sin ever performed was done by God in the Garden of Eden in order to clothe Adam and Eve after they had eaten the forbidden fruit and discovered they were naked. It is a picture of the sacrifice of Christ to come.
And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. – Genesis 3:21 ESV
In the following chapter, Adam and Eve have raised two sons, Cain and Abel. They each bring to the Lord an offering, the best of their work.
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” – Genesis 4:3-7 ESV
Again, this passage can be confusing, because it says if you “do well” you will be accepted. Again with the doing! But if it is really about the doing, wouldn’t Cain’s sacrifice have been acceptable? After all, farming is hard work. Cain was giving the best of his labors. But what God was trying to show Cain is that our labor, our good works, is not enough to be acceptable in God’s eyes.
This is the point of the 10 Commandments as well. We can never do enough. Never. What makes us acceptable is not our work, but God’s work—the living sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
Holy, Acceptable unto God
Going back to Romans 12:1, we don’t have to work hard at making our bodies holy and acceptable to God. Paul is describing our living sacrifices AS THEY ALREADY ARE. A few chapters before, in Romans 6, Paul explains the symbolism. When Jesus died on the cross it as if we died with Him. Because of His sacrifice, all who accept Jesus as Savior have been freed from the power of sin and death.
Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. – Romans 6:8-11 ESV
The blood of Jesus has washed us clean. My true self, your true self, is already holy, spotless, blameless, without shame. The condemnation we were born into, the shame we inherited in our DNA imprinted in that first moment of sin in the garden, that shame is no longer ours to carry. It is broken. We are free to walk in grace as honorable sons and daughters of the living God.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. – Ephesians 1:3-6 ESV
The Transformation
So if this is all true, if our true self is holy and blameless, why does God tell us to present our bodies to Him in this way? The key is in the second verse—we will change when we renew our minds.
There are people everywhere trying to be the best versions of themselves. Especially right now at the beginning of the year. Diet books are flying off the shelves, gyms are full of people trying to figure out what the pictures on all the weird machines are telling them to do. But as with every new endeavor, the resolution to do better will only take you so far. By February 15 the diet books are collecting dust and the half-off Valentines candy is all the rage.
I am currently one of many attempting to make life changes in the area of diet and exercise. (Read more about that here) I picked up a copy of The Daniel Plan and smiled to learn the key to success in losing weight is not what you eat or how you work out, but what you think. Of course, it is! Scripture tells us this.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 KJV
If we are to change what we do, we must change how we think. This is why Paul says we must transform our minds. If we don’t, we are going to be just like everyone else in the world who is trying to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. The key to holy living is holy thinking.
Yes, actions are important. Paul says it is by our actions that we will prove to others “what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” But trying to do this through willpower or a focus on obedience isn’t going to work. We must instead focus on who Jesus says we are in Him. We are holy. Blameless. Righteous. Our old man has died and our new man is alive through Him. Our chains are gone. We are free!
Present your True Self to the World
We are free to walk in newness of life. Released from the bondage of sin and death. But the only way we are going to experience the joy of this truth is if we BELIEVE it is true in our minds. First, we take God at His word, and then our actions follow.
Do you see the difference? Trying to present our bodies holy and blameless in our own efforts is a great burden. A weight God never intended for us to bear. Jesus says,
“My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:30 ESV
We will naturally and joyfully do the right things if we first swim around in and absorb the truth of God’s Word. We must fully grasp all He has given us in the inheritance of Jesus’ sacrifice. Your identity—your true self is a child of God.
So lift your head. You’re not a “weary sinner” anymore. You are holy and blameless. Don’t live like the world. Live like the royalty you are.
NOW AVAILABLE
Forgetting the Fairy Tale, 2nd Edition and the Forgetting the Fairy Tale Companion Guide are now available on Amazon! Get your copies today!
by Donya Dunlap | Jan 19, 2018 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
As with many areas in life, I find myself ebbing and flowing in my sense of acceptance before the Lord. This may sound strange to you. If our standing before God in Christ is secure, and it is, why should my feelings on the subject change? I have my theories. Whispers of the Enemy, an upbringing focused on appearance rather than relationship, and hormones top the list. Regardless of the source, there are times when my feelings get the best of me and discouragement settles in my heart. Thankfully, God likes to upset the settled.
When God Smiles at You
While in prayer for Trihope several months ago I got the distinct impression of God smiling at me. We were seeking His direction, hoping for answers to specific questions, and all I could think of was God’s face alight with affection for me. The image has remained in my mind and heart.
Several days ago I was struggling with something unrelated. I asked Jesus to sit with me as I opened my Bible before heading to bed. I turned to the Psalms and flipped to Psalms 43 and 44. As I read these words, I knew Jesus had lead me to this passage.
O God, we have heard with our ears,
our fathers have told us,
what deeds you performed in their days,
in the days of old:
you with your own hand drove out the nations,
but them you planted;
you afflicted the peoples,
but them you set free;
for not by their own sword did they win the land,
nor did their own arm save them,
but your right hand and your arm,
and the light of your face,
for you delighted in them.
Psalm 44:1-3
The verses touched my heart deeply. I think of the grumpy, complaining Israelites dragging their feet into the Promised Land and I assume God was frustrated with them. But what do these verses say? God “delighted in them.”
Delight Defined
According to Merriam-Webster.com, delight means,
1: a high degree of gratification or pleasure: joy; extreme satisfaction
2: something that gives great pleasure
Not only did God rescue the people of Israel from bondage, but He planted them in a place of prosperity, defeated their enemies, and set them free. And he did so with His might and by the light of His face. Why? Because He delighted in them. It brought joy to the heart of God to do good things for His children because His children brought Him joy—for no other reason than they were His.
This brings to mind my mom’s face when she would see me in the crowd of people at the airport. I’d be coming home for Christmas or for a special occasion and she would be there waiting for me to arrive, her face lit up like the sun to see me. I so love and miss her beautiful face!
This is how our relationship with the Lord should be. We should delight in each other. Each one finding joy in the love of the other. Smiles lighting up our faces. Yet even when we are grumpy and disgruntled, and ungrateful for all He has done for us, God smiles at us because He delights in us.
Light in the Darkness
Darkness is part of life. Summer gives way to winter. New babies grow into old men. Day gives way to night. It’s easy to wish we could always be relaxing in the sun, but without the night we wouldn’t enjoy the beauty of the sunset and sunrise, the breathtaking awe of a sky full of stars, or the dazzling display of aurora borealis. The darkness magnifies the light.
So when you find yourself discouraged in a season of darkness, remind yourself of the light of your Lord’s face as He smiles at you with kindness and love. Just tip your bowed head up and look at His face. He loves you. He delights in you. His face lights up in joy over you. And together you and He can face any darkness the Enemy can muster.
NOW AVAILABLE
Forgetting the Fairy Tale, 2nd Edition and the Forgetting the Fairy Tale Companion Guide are now available on Amazon! Get your copies today!
by Donya Dunlap | Jan 5, 2018 | The Spiritual Life, Write Hard Things
For a few years now I’ve noticed others choosing a single word or phrase for the new year. This is meant as a resolution of sorts. Instead of making goals to reach, they choose a word to live by. I considered this for several days leading up to the new year. On December 31st I flew to Atlanta to take part in the Passion 2018 conference (post to come later – read last year’s here). I sat in an open, nearly empty part of the airport waiting for my friend to arrive and asked God what my word should be for 2018. The word I felt rise up in my heart is “authentic.”
“Authentic” Defined
Merriam-Webster.com defines “authentic” as:
- (a) worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact; (b) conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features; (c) made or done the same way as an original
- not false or imitation: real, actual
- true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character
Reading the definition gives further assent to the stirring I’ve received in my heart from the Lord. 2018 is to be the year of me…the real me.
Confirmation from the Critic
“The year of me…sounds a bit arrogant, doesn’t it?” That was my first thought. My first response to the Lord answering a prayer was a knee-jerk reaction of fake piousness.
See, my internal critic is a “good girl.” She’s always telling me what I should and shouldn’t do based on what other people might think. “You can’t make a whole year all about you. That’s selfish. That’s arrogant. You can’t blog about that. You’re supposed to be setting a good example.”
I’m choosing to ignore her. Why? Because my internal critic is a hypocrite and a jerk. She knows God wants to make changes in me. To grow me. To make me more useful for His kingdom purposes. And that makes her afraid. And fear shows up as fake humility, persuading me to take a step back, be small, be insignificant. It sounds good on the surface, but God is not the author of fear.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
“Courage, Brave heart.”
No, my God wants me to be strong and courageous. He wants me to keep my head held high, my shoulders squared, and my eyes fixed on Him and the calling He has on my life.
“Courage, Brave heart.”
Three words penned by C.S. Lewis in a children’s story I found myself scribbling on my mirror in eyeliner. I needed this reflected back to me every morning to remind myself to not give in to the fear. To shake off the words of shame heaped upon me by others. Three words I found myself clinging to through the pain of the holidays for hurting people hurt people and there is no hurt greater than the loss of love. And on the heels of such brokenness, I feel the Lord whisper…
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. – Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV
Why “Authentic” and not “Courage”
As I reflected on the year, the progress I’ve made, the trials of recent days, my constant, ongoing battle with fear, I considered “courage” as the word I should choose. But “courage” did not resonate with me as “authentic” did. Courage feels like work. Like a stirring up of will. Like showing a brave face to the world despite my misgivings. What I want is freedom.
I know within me is a woman of power. She is brave. Her eyes shine with the confidence of the Holy Spirit within her. She boldly pursues her passions because she knows God has given them to her. They are His heart and her calling.
But despite all the ways I have grown and changed, this powerful, Spirit-fueled woman is still buried beneath layers of fear and shame. She is wrapped in worries about being wrong and making mistakes, about people laughing and whispering behind lifted hands. Past experience says, “Stay small. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Failure hurts. It’s better not to try.” These are lies from the Evil One. I long to be free of them. And while the path to freedom requires courage, it’s authenticity I seek.
“Not false or imitation: real, actual”
As I shared in my
last post on vulnerability, our relationship with Jesus has to be one of naked trust. I have to believe He is good and He means good for me in my life. I can read Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11 all day long, but unless I truly believe God loves me and will always do what is best for my life, I will never experience the deep connection with Him as He designed when He created me.
To be authentic is to be real. To remove those layers and walls we hide behind. Sometimes this process is painful. Sometimes joyful. But always necessary to live in freedom and power.
In the book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the one referenced above written by C.S. Lewis, there is a boy named Eustace. Because of his selfishness and greed, Eustace had become a dragon. He longed to be rid of his scales and become a boy again, but scrub as he might, he could never come clean as before. It took Aslan’s sharp claws to peel the dragon skin from Eustace and return him to his true self. In Eustace’s own words,
Eustace was afraid at first so he tried going his own way. Desperation forced him to turn to the One who could bring about real and lasting change. All Eustace had to do was lay down and ask Aslan to intercede on His behalf. Once free of his dragon skin, Eustace could again swim, and play, and be joyful.
What “Authentic” Means to Me
This naked realness is authenticity. To be stripped of all things not belonging to the original, forgiven, loved, called, gifted, daughter of the King of Kings God created me to be. Fear ignored. Shame removed. Giving my all. Embracing my gifts. No more feeling small and incapable when God has given me the power to do all He has asked me to do.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13
It may take all year for the layers to come off. Maybe more. I suspect the process of healing will never fully terminate this side of heaven. But my focus for this year is to be authentic. To be the real me in my body, mind, emotions, and spirit. To not be afraid of what God has for my future, but to fully embrace my now knowing each part of today is His gift to me. I am laying down before God and asking Him to strip me down to my real self. Will you join me?
by Donya Dunlap | Dec 29, 2017 | Bible Study, The Spiritual Life
Over the course of the last year, I have tackled the project of developing a companion study guide to my book Forgetting the Fairy Tale. In doing so, I’ve come back to the discussion of having a relationship with Jesus and what that means in daily life. In summary, the book says, in order to have a fulfilled and meaningful life, we must reject the false idols of attraction, beauty, sex, popularity, success, marriage, motherhood, and more as paths to happiness and contentment. Instead, we must engage and develop our relationship with God knowing that only He can provide us with the worthiness we crave. But beyond the disciplines of prayer, Bible reading, and church attendance, how is this accomplished? The answer lies in the word, “vulnerability.”
Defining Vulnerability
In the book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown defines “vulnerability” as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” I cannot imagine a better way to describe what a real relationship with God feels like. William Paul Young in his book, Eve, describes it as being “face to face.” No pretense. No masks. No shame. Just pure love and connection.
I’ll be honest. This is terrifying. Especially for those of us who pride ourselves on being “good girls.” Never disappointing. Always proper. Always put-together. Carefully crafting the image we present to the world so as to not make the slightest frown appear on any matronly faces. The same applies to the “rebels” too. Not caring and caring too much are two sides of the same coin. Both costumes we put on in the morning to cover our true selves before walking onto the stage of the world.
To be vulnerable is to be as Adam and Eve were in the garden—naked and unashamed. This is how God desires us all to be. In fact, we all begin this way as children. Shame is a learned emotion. Guilt is a God-tool for correction. Shame is the tool of the Enemy meant to get us to hide from God. It’s one of his favorite weapons for he knows that only God has the ability to lift our heads and restore worth and wholeness.
Exchanging Vulnerability for the Fig Leaves of Shame
We learn shame when we are mocked by the neighbor kids. When our grades don’t measure up in school. When the popular kids tell us we aren’t cool enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or athletic enough to sit at their table. We learn shame when our parents tell us to “suck it up and be a man” or “don’t be a wuss” or “in this family girls don’t [insert thing that makes you happy and…well…you].”
It doesn’t take long before we believe being ourselves is somehow bad, so we pretend. We act like the sibling who gets the positive attention. Imitate the cool kids. Slip into perfectionism. Or we act like the rejection of our true selves doesn’t hurt. Throwing away the values of our parents to run in the opposite direction.
We carry these beliefs about ourselves and how we think we are supposed to be into our relationships with God as well. Thinking God is disappointed with us, judges us, rejects us, or doesn’t love us. Maybe even believe God doesn’t exist because to believe He does and we don’t measure up to His standard is simply too painful.
The Naked Truth
The truth is, God is not our parents. He’s not our elementary school teachers. Or the kid who mocked us from the bleachers while we stumbled through our role on the court. He’s our Creator, and there’s nothing we can do to make Him love us any more or any less. His love for us is complete, not a prize for which we have to compete.
What was God’s response to Adam and Eve in the garden after they sinned? “Who told you that you were naked?” (Genesis 3:11 ESV) In other words, who shamed you? Who said you weren’t good enough? Who made you feel small…less than…insignificant…broken? God was not the one that introduced these feelings to Adam and Eve. Satan was.
Satan will always tell us our good isn’t good enough. That our body isn’t thin enough. Our contribution isn’t worthy to be shared with the world. Satan convinces us we should hide our true selves behind fig leaves and religion. God doesn’t tell us these things. He gives us a way to escape shame—forgiveness. God exchanges our sinfulness for the righteousness of Jesus. He lifts our chin and makes us look in His eyes, not so we will feel small, but so we will connect with His heart. So we will feel valued and cherished. In this relationship, in this soul-nakedness, we are accepted as we are. We are celebrated. We are treasured as beloved sons and daughters.
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17, ESV
Choosing Vulnerability
Vulnerability in our Jesus-walk is something we must choose every day. We do this when we confess our sins, laying them at His nail-scarred feet and refusing to let the weight of them pull us down into negative self-talk and blame. Confession is step one. Accepting Jesus’ forgiveness, step two.
We choose vulnerability when we embrace grace. Grace for yourself and others. Grace is the foundation on which our relationship with Jesus rests. Religion supports self-flagellation. Sometimes that looks like the self-inflicted pain of whippings and climbing stairs on your knees. Sometimes it looks like a form of humility and self-abasement cherished by the religious elite. Occasionally it looks like picket lines and religious protests. Jesus rejects these “burnt offerings” and offers the cross instead. Our guilt dissolves in His blood. Shame and finger-pointing have no place in the life of the Christian. Only grace.
We choose vulnerability when we engage with others. It’s easy to mock someone’s sin in order to feel better about ourselves. It’s hard to mock someone when you truly see them—their hardships, their fears, what brought them to their place in life. Empathy and judgment are opposites. It’s hard to look your nose down at a stripper when you’re holding her hand in her dressing room, questioning whether she’s old enough to obtain a drivers license and praying for her. Jumping into the messy middle of people’s lives promotes compassion, kindness, understanding, and love. It’s what Jesus did for us and the least we can do for others.
Possibly the most important aspect of vulnerability is choosing to pursue Jesus. Wait…you say…doesn’t Jesus pursue us? Yes. He did and He does. But relationships go two ways. Being vulnerable means opening up our hearts, laying bare our desires, plans, fears, and pain before the Lord. This is frightening. What if Jesus doesn’t respond as we think He should? This takes courage. This is faith.
No More Fig Leaves
Walking in a relationship with Jesus feels raw. Like standing naked before someone hours after saying, “I do.” It’s just you and him and you desperately want to know you’re good enough to be loved completely. Thankfully, we already have Jesus’ assurance that we are perfect in His sight—fat rolls and all. He doesn’t want our “Sunday best.” He wants us in all our messy-haired, mascara-smeared, Monday morning glory.
The fig leaves are getting in the way. Let them go and let Him in.
by Donya Dunlap | May 24, 2017 | The Spiritual Life, Write Hard Things
A year of firsts has come and gone. Mother’s Day. Then the first birthday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s came next. February brought the first anniversary of when we were told Mom had stage IV gall bladder cancer. April 28th the first anniversary of her going to see Jesus.
One year of life without my mother, my dearest friend, my cheerleader, my confidante.
The pain, though not as sharp as at the beginning of this journey, still runs deep. An undercurrent to everything I do. Mom visits me in my dreams, happy, whole, and smiling. Always smiling. I cry through worship nearly every Sunday. I fight back tears when I smell her perfume in a crowd. The sorrow is now part of me, shaping my thoughts and emotions as I navigate through life with a giant hole in my existence.
In the midst of my heart pain, I’ve been dealing with physical pain as well. A few months ago I dislocated my shoulder in my sleep. It took a while to diagnose the problem. During that time my muscles tightened around my shoulder, protecting it from further injury. And though the joint is now where it should be, my muscles are still tight and unyielding, reducing my arm’s usefulness. In order to get back to full range of motion, I have to work on breaking up the scar tissue that has developed and stretching out the muscles. The process is painful, but it’s the only way I’ll have true healing. The spiritual implications from both experiences of grief have been evident throughout.
A Biblical Response to Emotional and Physical Pain
Because we are tripartite beings, (body, soul, and spirit) physical suffering and emotional suffering can both impact our spiritual lives. Withdrawing protects ourselves from potential sources of additional pain. Lashing out at others for the slightest grievance becomes common, using our pain as an excuse. We can act defensively and self-protect, causing increasing harm to ourselves in the process, or we can do the hard work of healing, turning to our Great Physician for guidance and help to face the hurt.
1 Peter 5 speaks to our suffering in a powerful way. Peter reminds us that Christ understands our suffering. In suffering He became our Good Shepherd. We are to follow His example by shepherding those in our care with love, gentleness, and above all, humility.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:6-7
Humility may seem like an odd response. You may be thinking that pain is the issue, not pride. But what I believe Peter is saying is pain, or suffering, is a catalyst. It is done to you or happens within you. Our response to pain can either be pride or humility. We can turn our focus inward, causing caustic attitudes and further damage to ourselves and our relationships, or we can submit ourselves to what God is doing in our lives. The proper response, according to Peter, is casting our concerns and anxiety on Christ’s shoulders, freeing us up to love those we encounter daily rather than withdrawing from them.
Working out our spiritual scar tissue is a difficult task. One God never intended us to endure alone. This is why He sent Jesus to take on the pain of this world at Calvary. Every minute of every day we have to choose to give our pain and concerns over to Him. Our suffering never truly goes away this side of Heaven. It’s part of this fallen world. Part of us. But it doesn’t have to limit us.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. – John 16:33
We will always have scars, but we don’t have to be bound up with scar tissue or walk through life with open, festering wounds. Humility brings healing. Humble yourself to God and others. Seek His face through your tears. Let Him help you carry your load, so you, in turn, can help others.
