My dad once told a friend that if he ever took me to a football game, I would be worried that the guys in the huddle were talking about me. He was right.
Go Blue!
Well, not literally of course, but figuratively he was spot on. I struggled quite seriously about what people think about me for years. It was a problem that would often steal my joy, fill my mind with worry and cause great anxiety. The Holy Spirit really worked in my life in this area, mainly through the message of a book called Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George and through meditating on Philippians 4:8.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. – Philippians 4:8
I actually felt like this was part of my past, until recently I have found myself struggling again with regards to my writing.
I have had several people ask why I wrote Forgetting the Fairy Tale and my answer is always the same. I couldn’t NOT write it. I have a deep passion to help young women realize that they can only find satisfaction in Christ, and not in all the ways the world is teaching them to look for it. That passion drove me through the writing, editing and publishing process and continues to burn in my heart.
Lately however,
I’ve put a lot of effort into building what is referred to as a “platform” in order to sell my book and help the message spread. While that isn’t a bad thing in itself, it has lead to a change in my internal focus from helping others into a desire to see my blog numbers increase. I started worrying about what the guys in the huddle were saying again.
Why does one post spread and others aren’t hardly opened? Maybe people really don’t think I’m a good writer. Maybe I need to be funnier. Maybe I’m just wasting my time. I hardly get any comments—I wonder what my readers are thinking?
In all of the striving I lost sight of the goal. I lost sight of my passion. I lost my love for the “game” and became annoyed with the work of running the plays.
(And I have now reached my limit of football knowledge and applicable metaphors. Not a sports chic. Sorry.)
Instead of applying Philippians 4:8 to my writing I have been letting my mind dwell on the necessary, but secondary elements of promotion.
So today I confess to you my sin and begin again.
I will still read the writing books and learn what I can about creating a better blog, but my focus will no longer be on the stats and how I’m scoring in the blogosphere. This means tightening up my posts and not trying to please people with my writing. No more filtering. I’m going back to the basics of putting my passion on paper and loving people, not worrying about what they can do for me.
Photo credit: marylea / Foter.com / CC BY-SA
I actually do that too. I have many weeks planned out and handwritten 2-3 months in advance, but then there are times when life changes happen quickly. I am probably not even explaining myself very well right now. For instance, people may see my posts about my business as annoying, but there is a shelf life on preservative free products. If things do not pick up quickly, I will be giving it away. Thus the urgency. Puts things in a bit of context.
A lot of bloggers recommend a calendar to encourage writing in advance. This lets posts gel a bit and gives you perspective on what you have written. Write in the moment and then edit before posting.
Super good & super timely! Thanks for the encouraging & challenging word!
One small gripe– that’s the wrong football team up there in that photo. 😉
It’s the only team I have even an inkling of room for in my heart. And really only care if they beat Ohio State every year.
Struggle every day with this as a designer. Thanks for sharing your heart. Your writing is so well done I hope you can stifle the fears of not being good enough through knowing that people believe in you, and your passion.
I take great comfort in Ephesians 3:7-8. “Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ.” Insert “women” for “gentiles” and that’s how I feel. I don’t write and speak because I’m confident in my ability. The opposite is usually true. I do it because God has put a passion in my heart for it. I beg Him to use me and my words by His grace and for His glory.
Great Post Donya..(btw ..I just walked past the huddle..and heard mention of a great new read called “Forgetting The Fairy Tale”..) I think far too often as well we forget the gift of encouragement..We are quick to criticize and often slow to encourage..and perhaps that is due to our busy schedules, perhaps due to our self focus or jealousies..but hopefully one that we will not forget to encourage those around us and especially those who are using their God given gifts as He has allowed and desired and with the goal of pushing them on to continue to strive towards excellence. Thank you for going the distance with the gifts He has given you..in spite of the times when you wondered if it was being heard or making a difference..and know that it has and will!
Thank you for the encouragement Meredith! I appreciate you taking the time to stop by, read, and comment. I have had a glimpse into your crazy schedule and know that it is a sacrifice of time to do so. I don’t take that lightly.
This was great!! I, too, have struggled more with this in the past, and with the starting of my new blog last fall came the realization that I would have to write some hard things. It’s still scary and I still lose readers sometimes. But that just means they are not the ones God wants me to minister to. We writers HAVE to write what God tells us to and leave the results up to Him! I join you afresh on this journey and I posted today what might lose me some friends, so we’re in the same boat. 🙂 Let’s sail ‘out there’ together! BTW, I always enjoy what you write! I even read the fiction, which is not like me. So maybe I DO read fiction if I know the author, haha! 🙂
You are so right Leah. God gives us the message and we need to share it no matter if the result is an angry mob or crickets. That’s up to Him. Thank you for reading and for always being an encouragement! You are a blessing!