For a brief time I loved Valentine’s Day. I thrilled to be part of the romance and clung to the hope that it offered for wedded bliss. And then, for a much longer span of time, I abhored Valentine’s Day. Just one glimpse of that little demon Cupid flying off to bestow love and happiness on some other fortunate soul would stir up feelings of anger in the pit of my stomach. My mouth would fill with sarcastic darts of poison aimed at anyone close enough to hit with them. To get the best aim, I built my walls of insecurity higher and higher. I had been hurt and my response to that was taking the offensive against even the idea of true love.

Today I find myself in the middle of the two extremes.

I neither love nor hate the holiday itself, but there are things about it that still evoke a strong emotional response. I love to see expressions of love between married couples on social media, especially when it is initiated by a man. I love a man that is secure enough to show the world that he loves his girl in a Christ-honoring way. But I also hate that for so many the day is a painful reminder of loss and unfulfilled hope. It breaks my heart to see young women stomp their way into the trap of bitterness that I know all too well.

One of my goals in writing Forgetting the Fairy Tale was to be a help to both the happily married and the hopelessly single. There is a huge temptation for both individuals to seek to find fulfillment in a person outside of Jesus Christ. Both are wrong to do so. Towards the end of the chapter, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, I  wrote this reminder:

The perfect Valentine’s Day Gift!

The only way to find true peace and contentment is to be at war with the idols of our hearts. You must constantly evaluate your thoughts and motives and determine who you are serving. Are you walking in the image of Christ or of Satan? Are your desires godly or have they become an idol—displacing God from the throne of your heart? A boyfriend, husband, therapy, alcohol, food, drugs—none of these things satisfy a longing soul. Only the peace of God’s presence in your life can provide the sense of undying love and contentment you crave.

I still find I have moments when I want to hide behind aloofness or whine over a sense of loneliness. But if I choose to turn to Him, I find that Jesus really is the best listener, best friend, best encourager and best companion with which to walk through life that I could ever have. Should He see fit to provide for me a spouse, I will thank Him for it. But if He doesn’t, that’s okay too. I have found that even on Valentine’s Day it is possible to say:

This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. -Psalm 118:23-24

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